Hi there, I was born with the female anatomy, but I've always dressed fairly androgynous. During my past years in high school, my expression started to become more masculine, to the point I was sometimes addressed with he/him pronouns, by either strangers or friends. And that felt oddly satisfying for a reason I had yet to discover. I started to think of myself as genderfluid, because every day I feel different about my gender identity. I want to get top surgery, because for one; I am fairly uncomfortable with my breasts and secondly, I would feel more comfortable switching in the days I feel more comfortable as a boy or as androgyne. I fluctuate between all genders on all spectrums and with a masectomy I would feel better. At the point i realised this, I was ready to come out to my family and friends, until the mother and sister of my best friend were sat talking about gender identity and regarded people who are genderfluid as ''not mentally well'' and that they have made up a gender identity. It felt like a slap in the face. I live in the most tolerant country in the world, and this highly educated woman refuses to believe that my gender identity is not legitimate. Then, I started to worry, because maybe my mother will say the exact same thing. I have never ever heard her talk about gender identity other than the binary so basically I'm left in the dark. I feel like my gender identity will be ridiculed and not taken seriously, so that's why I'm teetering on the edge of just coming out as a FtM. Because even if my mother will take my gender identity seriously, will she even allow me the top surgery, will she understand me? And will my friends accept me? It took me a great time putting a name on my identity and it was pretty intricate journey, but I fear the ones around me won't or don't want to understand that. So my question really is, is it worth coming out as something you're not if you fear the consequences of coming out as something you are Thank you so much if you have taken the time to read or comment. It would mean the world to me because I don't think I'm going to take being closeted much longer and I have no one around me who I can talk to who is either my friend or is genderqueer themselves. All the love.
Firstly, don't come out as something you aren't!!! Its not worth it and I think you'll end up regretting it later in life. If you identify as gender fluid then thats what you are, don't come out as trans. Maybe you should try to educate those around you by talking about different gender identies and the science behind them. I'm having the same issues as you as far as the friendship stuff goes. The other day the conversation fell to transgender people and they were being pretty transphobic. Again, I believe that education is key but it doesn't work on everyone. Some people just don't accept people who aren't cis and won't here otherwise. Unless you depend on those people I would just remove them from your life. Really you just need to explain it to other people, maybe once you're out they will understand. As far as the stuff about your breasts go I can't really help you there as I'm 'technically' still a male... Although I'm probably not the best person to give advice (Because I'm still in) I hope I helped you out. I identified as genderfluid too for a while until I realised I was just trans so I hope I know what I;m talking about. Always be careful about who you talk to with this stuff and don't go too full on!! Good luck!!! You can do it! If you need to talk to anyone about it feel free to message me any time!!!
Hi! Thank you so much for replying! That meant a lot to me and I do realise as well that it is very possible I will regret it later in life. I think I'll just have to pry a bit further and see what the ones around me think of genderqueerness, if they react in a positive way i would've worried for nothing. Again, thank you! .xx
