To focused on being trans.

School, books, games, starting a new hobby or job or dyi project

 

I'm the same. I can normally distract myself during the days, but when I've nothing else to do, it outright haunts me. It's giving me insomnia.

 

I used to listen to music to fall asleep easier, but right now I don't have any speakers and my headphones are so large that I can't sleep with them.

 

I think it's pretty natural to think about it a lot. I mean, for better or worse being trans is a big part of your life and it does kind of require a lot of thought at times.

Still, there's a difference between thinking about something and obsessing over it, especially if it makes it hard to think about other things. When it gets to that point mindfulness techniques could really work if distraction isn't enough.

 

There's definitely been times where I've been like "I don't wanna think about this right now." Usually I find that unwinding with some mindless anime, like Fairy Tail, helps me to put myself out of that zone for a little while until I feel better. Then I write some fiction and feel productive.

 

I find myself obssessing over being trans a lot, mostly about how to come out to the rest of my family. Buy I can get distracted by TV and my brothers and anything that disconnects my mind from reality.

 

I'm exactly the same, I find myself always thinking about it. When you're trapped in the wrong body it is hard not to think about it!!!

I guess you have to try to keep your mind off it but thats not always easy. Whenever you are feeling crappy try to go and do something else, for me its photography. I know thats not always possible, even just watching a TV show can help.

Good luck though, you're not alone!!!

 

I sometimes go and listen to people's problems online. Rewarding and lets me forget about my own a bit. Also what Jellal^ said. Mindless anime.

Or EC ^^ Which isn't always a distraction since it's one of the themes but .. . oh well.

 

I had a period of time where I struggled hugely with this actually, it lasted about 3 months. I was fixated on the trans identity, which then left me feeling massive amounts of doubt. I overcame my doubt when I finally accepted that this is who I was made to be. feel so corny saying that...

 

^ This!

In my case, I'm finding that I've been swinging back and forth between "distraction" and "obsession".
When I'm in distraction mode, ironically, I'm doing all the superficially "right" things in my life, spending my time productively working, learning, and doing projects that need doing. For context, I have a fairly sedentary computer geek lifestyle, so we're talking about programming languages and things like that. And for down-time I might go do some more distractions like sport or something creative like music.

When I'm in obsession mode, I'm on the internet, reading and responding to posts or blogs, watching YT vids, and generally freaking out like OMG am I trans? Have I been repressing my feminine side so strongly that it's busting to get out? HRT? Less body hair, yeah that would be nice. I could fix my body aches which are actually dysphoria? OMG awesome! But what would people think? Society hates trans... No, wait, maybe I'm just a little genderqueer instead? I like my penis! I think I'll keep it... No, wait! Am I repressing part of myself again? Is it denial?

I stumbled upon some awesome commentary by Autumn Asphodel, who was talking about transgender issues versus mental health issues versus hypochondria. That basically it's possible to get yourself all worked-up, storm-in-a-teacup style, and end up believing that you have something because of unchecked self-diagnosis, when in fact it could be wrong. But there's also the problem that you get a professional opinion, it's still completely up to you whether you choose to agree with what they say. So it's about finding a balance. How? Who knows :icon_bigg

~~
Incidentally, another part of me just noticed how self-critical I was above, describing everything in negative terms. So, the practical activity aspects of my life are distractions, while the introspection, learning about myself and cerebral stuff is "obsession". Interesting.

 

I am constantly afraid that I am some how forcing myself into thinking I am trans. But then I look in the mirror and see how much I love looking a guy, and how I want to look and be more and more male. So I choose to believe that I am trans, and I doubt that I am wrong.

 

Are you writing about me?

Last week I was in complete acceptance phase. I'm me and I know by my heart I'm a woman.
Then during a business meeting a few transphobic comments from a colleague and denial was back.
I can hardly work at the moment, I need a lot of discipline for getting things done.

But it's reassuring to read all your comments and to know that I'm in good company. (&&&)

 

Thessa and wasgij, I definitely feel like I'm in the same boat as the two of you. It is like reading what

In my case, I tend to go through loops. I can distract myself enough to "shelve" the issue for a while, but it does eventually come back. "I think I'm a woman" -> "I should experiment with X to find out more" -> anxieties take over so I don't experiment with what I want -> "Well, maybe I'm not, because I'm not trying to claw out of my skin right now", etc.

I definitely know how transphobic behavior can drive you back in. Just reading about it is enough to make me want to not be dealing with this to be honest. And to be fair, I'd describe me from a couple years ago as transphobic.