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Questioning My Gender - Genderfluid?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ScaryClosets, Jul 9, 2015.

  1. ScaryClosets

    Regular Member

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    Hey there, I'm ScaryClosets.

    I was assigned a female at birth, and have always addressed myself as female. Though, without ever really realizing it, I've always had days where I dress like a girl and ays where I put my hair up in a bun and wear a beanie over it with a hoodie. I always thought I was really Tom-boyish, but I'm not so sure. I have more guy friends than girl friends, and my brain is more like a guy. The question here is, am I genderfluid? I don't have that feeling of a guy or a girl most days. If I'm wearing my hair down and I'm a "girl" that day, sometimes I imagine being a guy. That question seems to be popping up a lot lately, and I'm just not sure. I'm getting a pixie cut next week, and an answer would really help me a lot. My Mom thinks that I'm Genderfluid, because that's how I act a lot, but I'm just not sure and need help.

    Thanks :slight_smile:
     
  2. Acm

    Acm Guest

    Wearing certain clothes or being more masculine or feminine doesn't mean you're a different gender. That's more gender expression than gender identity. Is there any other reason you think you might be genderfluid? No one can really say what your gender is besides you though.
     
  3. ScaryClosets

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    Oh, I see. Hmm...another reason I think I'm Genderfluid? When I see myself, I see myself more of having two sides of me. One side is female and the other is male. The guy version wears guy clothes, and I usually hide my hair with a beanie. For girl, I have long-ish hair and am more feminine. I feel like both together, and feel that I have an equal balance of both. Though, I can go from girl to guy everyday, it just depends on how I want to dress that day. And if I did, I would feel comfy using they/them pronouns. I guess that would be more gender expression, wouldn't it?
     
  4. Emerson

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    Hi!

    Gender identity is a very complex thing and finding out what you identify most with and put a name on it, is as well. Being genderfluid is like fluctuating between different places on the spectrum, on and off the binary. For example, I am genderfluid and one day I can feel like a girl/feminine and another day I can feel agender. I can fluctuate between all places on the spectrum, meaning I can wake up as any gender any day. I change every day and so do my pronouns. But it doesn't have to be like that; there are many people who fluctuate between being a girl/feminine and something of the non-conforming gender, mostly resulting in changing between she/her and they/them pronouns.
    Also, your gender expression can be a good indicator of your gender identity. Of course you shouldn't solely rely on it, but it can help you figure it out. From what you're saying about seeing both sides of yourself someone could say you're the 'Third gender' or pangender, as you're feeling like there's an equal balance of both genders and that they are present simultaneously.

    But as Acm said, no one can decide for you what gender you are and what pronouns you prefer. Being somewhere on the spectrum does not mean you should use the pronouns most people use. I just helped you onto some terminology, but it's all about what you feel comfortable with identifying as.

    Hope I helped you a tiny bit! Good luck figuring it out!