For the past two days I've been swimming as I try to get a tan, being described as "pale as a Victorian era lady" doesn't sit to well with me. They whole entire time that my friend/brother's girlfriend were in the pool I kept thinking about how I want to be a boy. How when I transition swimming will even seem different. And how my relationship with my friend will change. It is kind of a scary thought. Even though I think about all this there is a part of me that is still having problems believing I am trans. "Is that really all it took to be trans?" Is kind of what the internal voice is saying. The memories of high school come back a little at a time. Looking in the mirror and feeling all the hate. Wanting to take a knife and cut off my boobs and hips. Hateing both to the point that I would of given anything to of just been a boy, I grew jealous of trans people because they would be able to achieve that. I know I am trans but some part of me still thinks there should be more, that I should of still just known that I was a guy. I can't get it out of my head. Guess I am afraid someone will use it to say I am not trans.
People inevitably say dumb things, so someone likely will try to say that eventually. The problem is that there are many reasons people might take longer to realize they're trans. For some, the dysphoria is just delayed. Others might be affected by their environment; if they don't know what transgenderism is, they'll have more trouble understanding what they're going through. Wanting to cut off your boobs and hips is serious. I don't see any good reason to think you're not trans.
