I wasn't in the best mood yesterday and wrote a bunch of things out in notepad to help get into text format what I was feeling. HTML: *dysphoria is not constant and I go back and forth between being comfortable and uncomfortable *seeing female figure and small shoulder width usually trigger dysphoria *dysphoria is usually a strong need in that moment to be female *can be alleviated somewhat by masturbation *apparently singing along to a female voice helped today *don't know if crossdressing/acting more feminine would help, see below *do I feel female/feminine? *not particularly *edit: sometimes I feel feminine but it does not seem to be related to my dysphoria *would I feel better if I felt female/feminine? *no clue whatsoever *do I feel male/masculine? *physically very male *not at all masculine *I think I'm uncomfortable around females *social anxiety? *avoidance because of my gender issues? *avoidance because of attraction? The last part is a pretty decent problem for me, but of course all of it is a bit problematic at the moment. If anyone has comments or insight into what I wrote, I'd really appreciate it. It took surprisingly long to write out for such a short amount of content, as I remember.
I've given it more thought. I'm working some of it out, but I still have a lingering question. In the case that I'm uncomfortable around females because of my occasional dysphoria, is there any way of dealing with that in normal social situations? It really is distracting and uncomfortable to not be able to hold a conversation very naturally. If it's social anxiety or sexual attraction, I think I can find ways of dealing with that, but I'm drawing blanks on fixing the third possibility. Thank you.
I don't know. Dysphoria does different things to different people. It's never had an effect on my own social interactions, so I don't know how you could deal with it if that were the case. I guess you could try dealing with the anxiety/attraction possibilities and seeing if that makes things better. If it works, then you won't have to worry about the other.