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How my voice sounds in my head

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Ineedmywaifu, Jul 15, 2015.

  1. Ineedmywaifu

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    I could say a bunch on this struggle but i'll simplify the post. I've got a difficulty with sounding like a girl in my head- like in vocal pitch, I believe that I've just been so used to hearing myself externally with such a guys voice that naturally when I talk or think to myself. And since I can't really get to that perfect female voice yet, it's hard to imagine what my own voice would sound like. I can try to think in a girl's voice but naturally I'll think in my natural harmonic voice.
    I've even thought that maybe my voice has no tone at all and I'm just being gender paranoid, I don't really pay attention to how I sound, I just think.


    Also there are situations when I refer to myself in my head (ex. "How did you fuck that up, Robert" "That was a bad joke, Richard") and just subconsciously I'll use my old opposite gender name. I do try to use my new gender name but old habits slip out. And I hate it when it happens.




    What are your guy's experience on head voice, personally sounding like your gender and how have you guys dealt with it, if it's occurred.
     
  2. Sevan

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    I've found that when I'm under extreme stress, I tend to return to the way I felt before I came to an understanding as to who I was (during which, I was under extreme stress 24/7). So instead of freaking out when I mentally refer to myself as my birth name (which happens! It's okay!) I use it as a waypoint to tell myself I'm under too much duress, and I need to take a step back and take it easy.

    It is scary for me when I find myself misgendering in my own head. But as someone with a non-binary gender, I suppose that even to me, having a gender that is not one or the other is still alien, and when I'm comfortable, I slip up. I think that's normal, too. You are socialized for the beginning of your life to be one way, and when you come to the realization that how you feel is not that way at all, it's still very difficult to drop those habits. It's how you were taught you were meant to be!

    As for voice, I'm sometimes the same way, where I wish mine was just a little deeper. I'm lucky enough to have found small ways to induce a deeper voice, just a little. But I find that my mental voice is actually deeper than my actual voice! This is because when we talk, we're vibrating our entire heads in the process. When we speak, we hear our own voice twice. First, via external eardrum vibration, like anyone listening to us. Second, via rattling our own skulls. It might be a small comfort, but maybe your mental voice is a projection of the way you actually hear yourself, which sounds deeper than you actually sound. For example, think about the sound of a car speeding by in the rain. You hear that whoosh sound, right? Now try to imagine it in a deeper pitch. It's a lot harder to do because that's not the sound you are programmed to hear.

    I think once you hit that perfect tonality you want with your voice that sounds feminine in an external way, you'll start to mentally adjust to that change, and so your mental voice will sound different. Your brain will learn.


    I have a friend who claims her inner voice is british. So I wouldn't put too much stock in the way you mentally sound being something that defines how you subliminally perceive yourself.
     
  3. Lazuri

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    Honestly, I never felt that my thoughts had a voice at all. They're just kinda there.
     
  4. randomconnorcon

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    I actually like how my voice sounds in my head and when I hear myself when speaking to other people. It sounds deeper to me than it does to everyone else. I can't wait to start T just so everyone else hears a deeper voice as well, because right now it's nasally and too soft and unless you know me as 'female' I sound like a nine year old boy at best.

    I don't really see it as misgendering myself because when Sam is the shortened version of my birth name and Samuel is to be my middle name, so Sam is fine. But I've found I call myself Sam a lot less than other people nowadays, both in my head and out loud (to my friends) I call myself by my chosen first name Connor.
     
  5. Matto_Corvo

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    My voice in my head tends to be just a tad bit deeper than in real life. Some timed it sounds really masculine, but it has never been a female voice. Most times I feel it is rather neutral all together.
     
  6. Rochelle86

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    I hear a female, and male voice In my head. I swear I'm not crazy, I think. XD
    The female voice is much more forefront, and focused. I hope to one day have a voice that can pass on the phone or to strangers. I need to slowly shirt my voice till it sounds female.
     
  7. Ineedmywaifu

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    adding onwards, when I do use a female voice, its a bit hard for me to project one having not much females in my life to personally listen to other than my family whom I dislike. The stuff that does influence me would be the girls I overhear around school and there was this one girl that I sort of built a voice on, sort of raspy teenage girly voice. In my head, I've simulated various voices but they never stick. I sort of just use my imagination to create female voices, but I feel i'll have to use the fem voice that I'll be able to emit. (Quirky side note, often I've talked in accents like Russian, Italian, and German like even though I'm American born. Something about them are more pleasing to hear and it flicks on during different moods.)
     
  8. starm

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    Once the male voice is successfully musculation, it is very difficult to speak like a female. Even if you do voice therapy, the voice remains lower. And on phones, it almost always sound like a male do to the radio frequency of the microphone. I will try to femenize the voice, but it might be impossible to get rid of the lower voice.