1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Should trans parents tell their children?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kodo, Jul 15, 2015.

  1. Kodo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1,830
    Likes Received:
    849
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is a "what if" scenario. I'm interested to read responses.

    Say you have a couple comprised of a trans woman and a trans man. They got married, and live completely "stealth." No one knows they are trans and they have completely disassociated from their past identity.

    Now they have kids. Their kids grow older and then the parents must choose whether to tell their kids about their trans statuses. Would it be wrong to keep that from the kids, allowing the children to believe both of their parents are regular, cis-gendered people?

    I guess it would be comparable to parents raising and adopted child without ever telling the child they are adopted. The idea being to give the kid a "normal" life so they don't feel out of place or strange. Though I don't agree with not telling a kid they were adopted since it directly has to do with the child's life and past.

    But with the trans parents narrative, their past need not come into play with how they raise their kids.

    Thoughts?
     
  2. randomconnorcon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    550
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Liverpool, England
    I would tell my kids when a time comes that they're old enough to understand... but young enough that it doesn't phase them so much negatively. Because I don't think I'll lose my family or anything and they talk about their youth quite a bit, they have pictures and they reflect on things and all that. They already do that about me, I'll do that about me, and I don't want them confused in any way because my parents used to put me in dresses and call me a different name. I mean, I'm not going to be a parent who limits their kids because of gender, they can do/wear/act in whatever way they're comfortable doing/wearing/acting, but I'm not naive enough to think they'll live in a world that disregards gender roles after centuries of social views, so they'll pick up things.

    So yeah. I don't think trans parents should tell their kids, like be obligated to or anything. People live their lives differently and it'll depend on their feelings/thoughts/how they are with their families/their past and so much more. It's a very personal decision. But I would tell them.
     
  3. Daydreamer1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    5,680
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm not sure if I'll tell my kids or not. They'll have two flamboyant dads, which is more than enough for them to handle at once.