So I was reading an article about trans* males, and it said that they'd have stronger bonds with men than women. That made me really concerned about my identity, because I feel at home with women, like they understand me and are safe to be around, but not like I'm one of them, and I'm kinda scared of men. I don't wanna be a masculine man, I wanna be a 'Kurt Hummel-man', and masculine men scares me a bit. Is that normal? Maybe I'm just that gay guy who's just more comfortable around women?
I used to be a little intimidated by men too. For me I think it was because I was raised female and didn't really know how to talk to guys. Now I feel about equally comfortable with both, maybe a little more at home with guys. Maybe you just need to get more comfortable around guys, or maybe you're just a guy that's more comfortable with women. I don't think it's anything that should make you question your identity.
When I was 13, I was still only socializing with other boys, around the age of 16 or so I started to gravitate more towards girls and when I was 19 or so I started only befriending girls because I found them easier to understand and get along with. You have to remember that friendships work both ways, at your age, boys don't really befriend girls easily and that means that any boy that sees you as a girl would feel uncomfortable around you and you would likewise feel uncomfortable around him in response. Later on in life, once people start dating and are exposed to people of the opposite sex they will be more willing to befriend you which is when your instinctive connection to people of your innate gender will kick in and you start noticing how easy it is to get along with boys compared to girls...
Everyone's individual experience with other people is their own. I wouldn't put too much stock in it, honestly. If there's anything I've learned, it's the gender of the individual is second to the individual itself. Be friends with people for who they are, not because of what statistics stipulate is common. Right? Just don't sweat it. Who you are around and care about shouldn't give you a reason to doubt who you are. By no means do the people around you change your identity.
Thanks to all of you. I hope I'll get out of it or simply accept I'm a 'ladies man'(said the(mostly) gay guy)
This. Who you are friends with depends on their character, interests.... Also if you have a normal social life, you are most likely to meet different individuals on a regular basis, which means you might go through times when the names on your agenda are female, male or mixed. I agree with Yaeli on the point that age plays a role. Even if I always kept friendhips, I remember boy aged 12-17 feeling uncomfortable because of the changes on my physical appearance, plus the effect of hormonal kicks we all went through and changed the way we interacted. Last but not least, my 2 cents... The more I felf comfortable with my gender (male) the easier was to get along with women in general. This doesn't mean I feel at home with them, it means I was finally able to like them for what they are and how they express themselves. I love them just precisely for being different. At the same time it has made me aware that I've been repressing competitive feelings towards other males, which has helped to understand my own actions (and reactions) much better.
