Hello, this is my first and likely last thread here. I am just looking for an answer. I identify as male, but was born with a body that by societies standards, does not (yet) completely reflect this (I do not consider it "female" in any way, so please do not use that word when referring to it). Besides continuing hormone therapy and (near) future chest and perhaps genital reconstruction, I have no plan to further masculinise with muscle training, haircuts and the like. What male hormones have and will continue to do will be enough, as I would like to keep the appearance of androgyny. At the moment, I am using a gynecomastia binder, and have horrible dysphoria if I was to be seen without it. I am aware there are usually basic differences in the brain structure of the sexes (and that transsexuals have the brains of the opposite genetic sex), and have done much research on the subject of gender and gender variance. I believe my thought pattern and therefore, brain structure is very much male, and I have identified as male in that sense since a young age. I am a "transsexual", if you must. I have had excruciating physical dysphoria, to the point of chronic depression, suicidal thoughts, and near insanity. However, since I was very little, and more so as I get older, I have no interest in the "social gender". I very much dislike so-called gender roles, and believe gender should not dictate what a person likes, wears etc. As a child, I had no preference of which gendered toys I played with, and usually which gendered clothing I wore. Luckily, although I was initially raised as female, I was given access to whatever clothing and toys I wanted. Even so, in the past I was very much affected by the pressure of social gender. I have cut my hair and dressed in "masculine clothing" every day, only to find I was not happy with my appearance. Now, I strive to have the appearance of the "perfect" androgyne. I am growing out my hair as long as possible, growing my nails, and wearing gender-neutral clothing, though it can swing to more "masculine" or "feminine" depending on my mood. I can switch from frilly twin-tailed gothic lolita to elegant 18th century gentlemen; leather trench coat and trousers to long flowing dresses and lace headpieces in one week if I fancy. I also have quite a passion for beautiful things, which reflects in my often use of lace and jewellery as well as makeup, which I usually wear. It also reflects in my love for the arts (a stereotypically "feminine" thing). I enjoy making jewellery, drawing, dancing (in both female and male roles) and above all singing and songwriting. I also have a history of stage acting (in female roles which I did not feel uncomfortable portraying until I hit puberty) and piano. Adding to that, I am a doll collector and restorer. Although, perhaps leaning to the "masculine" side, I have always had a particular fondness for mechanical dolls and toys and their inner workings. Sexually/romantically, I have no bias towards males or females. However, I find myself often attracted to those who are male, but feminine/androgynous in appearance. Regardless of physical sex, I am attracted to femininity. I have a fairly high physical sex drive, as is common in males, cis or trans(on hormones). But I would feel uncomfortable using my genitals in sexual activity due to dysphoria, and if I am with a cis male, perhaps even after genital reconstruction surgery (as I might feel inferior). I am however, quite happy to be "the giver" in sexual situations. This paragraph may be too much information, as they say, and if so I am sorry. If it is a violation to the rules, feel free to edit it. I have always had an admiration of androgynous people, and enjoy and find it amusing when people at first do not know my gender. However, I am male at heart, deep down under the lipstick and foundation, and am uncomfortable when referred to with female pronouns. If someone does mistake me for female (usually at first glance, when they haven't heard my voice), I will correct them. I have had horrible dysphoria relating to this in the past. I suppose my question is, does what I have written here make me "non-binary"? My appearance and mannerisms are that of an androgyne. But regardless of this, my gender identity remains male at it's core. Even so, most societies in today's world (including the LGBT communities) still see trans people as binary. People who are fully conforming to the gender they identify with. I do not conform to gender roles (but have nothing against people who do unless they preach to me about it), and identify with both masculinity and femininity. Personally, the inner androgyne, one who is in equal parts masculine and feminine, is the ultimate goal. I do not tell of my physical body's defects to anyone other than my family and whoever knew me before I began transition. Everyone else, including my friends, just sees me as what I truly am, an androgynous male. Thank you for reading this, even though it was long. -kyoujin
I use the term binary only when referencing gender identity. If someone who was assigned female at birth told me they identify as male (and only male) I would say they were a binary trans guy (if they asked, otherwise I'd just say cool). Non binary, to me, is when gender identity isn't only male or female. How you express yourself is a different thing. If your gender identity is androgyne, then I'd think non binary, but if just how you express yourself is androgynous then I'd still think indentity was more binary because males and females can wear and act and do whatever they want, in my eyes if not society's. However, I don't know your mind, so this is just how I see the spectrum at first glance. If you told me you identified as both male and female, though more on the male side, my thoughts would change to non binary. Does any of this make sense? It's 3am here, I don't make sense when I should be sleeping...
I identify as a non-binary trans girl. My gender doesn't fit in the binary, but is mostly female. Maybe you are sorta like that, but male?? You can present an any way you like. also, gothic lolita is cool
You sound like a binary trans man to me. Gender expression is not the same as gender. Nonbinary refers to gender, and since you present androgynously but still identify as male, you are not nonbinary.
