When I was little I'd play with my sister's dolls, I'd tuck in my penis to see how I'd look as a girl, as I got older I looked for female friends as I preferred their company, and discovered I enjoyy shopping, so far so normal. Here's where it gets weird... I walk more girlly bc it feels comfortable, I talk to my friend about how nice it'd be to be a girl, I see panties at the mall and I Debate for a solid week whether or not I'll buy them bc I really want them. I find myself wanting skirts and painting my nails and shaving my body to look feminine, I look down in the shower and love the clean smooth look of my legs and feel like my penis is out of place, I masturbate and hve an urge to finger myself only to remember I don't have those parts, I want breasts sometimes. I learn I've been experiencing dysphoria. I try out loud referring to myself as a woman and it makes me smile and cry. Then sometimes I like looking and being masculine, sometimes I like my penis, mostly I'm just 'meh' towards it, and sometimes I don't want it there. I don't know what to do.
You sound like a totally normal person to me. Not weird at all. ^^ If you are experiencing gender dysphoria, it is a good idea to see a qualified mental health professional. TBH you sound a bit like me, a while ago when I first joined this site. Maybe visiting a gender clinic or something would be in your best interests. ^^
I've been working on this myself, although I really commend you on the dressing interests. I was only able to buy women's clothes once, and I could never do it again when I was asked if I wanted a gift receipt. The way I was raised (Christian white straight male) I found that genders (to me, personally) were something that were more cultural than genetic. So really. *head tilt* Things are only weird if you think they are. The fact that you CAN walk in public like that is really cool. Anyway - back onto the subject at hand. The answer I keep getting from others is that only you can answer who you are. Cop-out answer, but hey. It's the go-to saying here. Maybe, too, you could try to see if one would feel right over the other. I always sort of answered this question to myself by asking "what would it be like in 30 years." If you could feel the same way as you would then. then maybe you're onto something. Take what I say with a grain of salt, though. I'm as lost as you are. D:
You have dysphoria, so you definitely don't sound cis to me. I can't tell you whether you are a trans woman, a genderfluid person, or any other specific identity, but I would definitely encourage you to do more research into trans identities, because I strongly suspect you are not cis.
hey bro if your cool with being called bro there are alot of online therapist chat websites were you can get professional help quick and if you cant find a gender therapist go to a normal therapist at first theyll just consult with you and then on there free time they do research and talk with other therapist about the problem to learn about your problem then talk to you more in depth about the situation hope this helped
