So, I have never identified with any gender. I did not have that 'feeling' of belonging to either of them (back when I only knew about male and female). When talking about it, I would always say I am a female (since that the sex I was born with), but I never felt as a female. I did not feel as male either. I always assumed it was the same for everyone and did not really question it. Now I'm reading about all these people who feel as they belong to a particular gender, or feel they switch between them, and all the variations there are, and I just don't understand that. I mean, I do, in the sense that I feel everyone should do whatever feels right, but I do not understand the feeling - since I do not feel as being of any particular gender, and never have. I always wrote it off to not conforming to gender roles, and therefore not fitting any gender. Does the feeling of gender go deeper than than gender roles? How does it work? My friends tell me I do not fit into the 'women' category (including my lover of over 4 years), I have men's underwear (I find it more comfortable), but I do wear dresses sometimes. In my teens, I was hardcore, wearing leather, chains and whatnot. When pressured by my mom to buy feminine clothes, I told her I don't think I would look good in it, and that I don't have the fave/body it takes to wear that type of clothes. I get that it's all fashion and that the teenage issue could be due to insecurities and wanting to belong to a particular subculture, rebelling and dressing accordingly, but from what I understand, it could be more than that. I also jump between pronouns when talking about myself, but I think that is mostly because I live in an area where many people whose native language doesn't have gender live here, and they have trouble speaking my language (which has gender), so I'm used to being referred to with both male and female pronouns (even by my grandma), so I just adopted both, and they don't mean as much as they probably do to people who have always been surrounded by gender neutral language with only the pronouns marking the gender. Having all of this in mind, could I be agender? How can one tell a difference between being genderqueer and just not conforming to traditional gender roles?
Gender does go deeper than gender roles. Stuff like how masculine/feminine you are, or how you dress don't determine what your gender is. A lot of cis people don't really have any strong gender feelings because they've never really had to struggle with the issue of gender the way trans people have, so maybe that's what you're feeling. Or you could be agender. Only you can say for sure what your gender is.
