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Discovering your gender is tough and I need help doing it

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by HereAndNow, Jul 22, 2015.

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  1. HereAndNow

    HereAndNow
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
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    Location:
    San Francisco
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    So practically my whole life, I've been extremely masculine and I've always felt like I wasn't actually a girl to the point where I got uncomfortable every time somebody would call me a girl, use some kind of feminine nickname, and even my own name, which is very feminine, made me uncomfortable, and I've wanted to change it ever since I was a little kid. I never told anybody, because I knew they might say something rude or ignorant and I didn't want to deal with that. Just recently, I've been learning more about gender and sexuality, including my own, but I've never been able to figure out my gender. I don't feel like a girl or a boy but I also feel like I do have a gender but I don't know what it is. It's made me very uncomfortable and stresses me out a lot. There's really no one for me to talk to in my life and just knowing someone out there has a similar situation or has a name I can put to this would make me feel a lot better :icon_bigg
     
    #1 HereAndNow, Jul 22, 2015
  2. Skater

    Skater
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Honestly, figuring out your gender and sexuality just takes time. It might help to research lgbtq terms and experiment, but it's still going to take time. I don't think anyone figures this stuff out overnight; I'm still learning after about two years of almost being certain of what I identified as. And if labels don't fit or define you, you don't have to use them. While I find comfort in labels, it's something that everyone tells me. Just stay open to different ideas and don't stress over it too much, because it doesn't help to overthink this stuff. It has to come naturally.
     
    #2 Skater, Jul 22, 2015
  3. TobaccoFlower

    TobaccoFlower
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2015
    Messages:
    351
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    Location:
    UNT, Denton, TX
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm actually actively going through that, myself.
    I feel like people might not really perceive themselves as male or female internally. Maybe that's my imagined reality or biased view. I just happen to think that everyone falls where they fall in society and that gender constructs are a purely societal creation regardless.

    HOWEVER. I am finding it helpful to ask my close friends and to take questionnaires on gender (introspection is important and they're a guide for me) to find out where I, myself, fall on the spectrum. Maybe that'll help?
    BUT it's also really important that it does come naturally. once you let go of what you THINK you SHOULD do I think it all just comes out and seems totally obvious.
     
    #3 TobaccoFlower, Jul 22, 2015
  4. larkcarmen

    larkcarmen
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2015
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    Location:
    southern usa
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hmm... you might be nonbinary. If you are, welcome to the club! We've been awaiting more members xD
     
    #4 larkcarmen, Jul 23, 2015
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