So. Gonna come out in a new community. Now what?

(*Hug*) none of us do darling. Huge congrats coming put to yourself

Step zero is figuring out what you are going to need to make your life work and where to get it. Why you're here right? But this also involves you making some choices. Transition is not a one size fits all deal. For me for instance, balancing my hormones, and presenting as female full time, are my goal. I have the steps I need to achieve that goal laid out. I know what being a woman and presenting female mean to me. To help me achieve that goal more quickly, things like full "bottom surgery" are not on the list. They may be on yours and that is cool , just understand the cost and benefit. Another bottom surgery called orchiectomy (equivalent to a hysto) is on my list because it furthers my goal at a cost I can do. I really had to think long and hard about what I wanted, because it is me that is going to provide it in the end, in a world that is still unfortunately somewhat hostile to people like me.

Although on that note, please do not let fear hold you back. Fear makes us stay in bad situations. It makes them feel safer than they really are. Not transitioning would have been a worse outcome for me. No matter how masculine I look in public under my clothes, I have very few problems dealing with people. It really is all in your head. Most people by far are cool and nice.

So I can help with some of that research, but you are going to have to do some. The second you are confident "this will happen", even if disaster struck and knocked you back a few squares, is the second your transition begins. Remember that. Not when something outside of your control such as getting hormones happens. It can take as long as it has to. You are taking steps you can control toward living a life that works for you, which is a darn fine definition of transitioning. Take as long as you need to, but when you are ready, promise me you will not ever let the world playing keep away with things you need make you feel like any less of a woman. A name change, hormones. surgeries, none of that makes you a woman. Cis women don't start out women, they start out girls. You being who you are and your experiences make you a woman.

So you have - I am guessing, I can't see your step zero list - two big hurdles, and that is the best place to start. You have legal and social hurdles being accepted for who you are, and you have medical hurdles.

For the former, I recommend a therapist. Therapists .

Before I do, I want to mention a lot of us do not get a therapist and that is cool. There are doctors that will see you. Look for "informed consent model" for your best odds. If a therapist is not your bag, no worries, I am giving you advice.

Also you are going to school so there are good odds your school has free therapists.

A therapist gives you two advantages. First they know the ropes. They can help you whenever the rest of the world is trying to cram you into the boy bucket. They can help you figure out next steps and be a source of strength.

Second is advocacy. They can write letters for you on your behalf. These can make things easier at work, at some doctors offices, if they give you guff in just about any situation. A therapist's letter carries a lot of weight with people. You also need two letters for most SAS (sex affirmation surgeries).

So that is why they are worth it to me.

The second obstacle, the best thing is a good GP (general practitioner) doctor. Just come out to your regular doctor. Or find an informed consent doctor like I mentioned before. Or find a doctor that advertises being lgbt friendly. They in turn will recommend any specialists like endocrinologists and urologists for you.

Things you can start on without therapy or a doctor are your voice and hair removal.

For your voice, youtube has a lot of tutorials that are fairly good. There are some good threads here on it too. It is a muscle you can train and learn to control. It is something that responds reflexively to your mood and how you feel you are being seen, so a lot of us notice a direct correlation between our progress with voice work and self acceptance.

For hair removal, a lot of home equipment that works is unfortunately so expensive salon visits become worth it. If you can stomach growing your hair long enough to wax, some do that. Some of us get great with make up. But unfortunately facial hair, even tge little bit a razor leaves, is an instinctive gender clue. So if you can, either lazer or electro as soon as you can afford it is usually worth it.

Most of all enjoy it every now and then. Be around friends that make you feel comfortable when uou can, that give you that breath of fresh air "she" and your new name can provide. This is going to make you stronger and more mature than a lot of people, and if you let it it can make you sad and miserable. Screw all that noise. You are fun and interesting. Hit a gay bar. Don your sense of humor about yourself and hit the drag scene. Or just play a video game and watch a movie every now and then. Hike, play basketball. Don't forget to live and love life. I do something to recharge my energy every single time I get home from work.

And hey before I forget welcome to EC TONS of awesome people here. Including you