I am new here and just recently discovered I might be transgender and I am not sure how to go about feeling this way. Like sometimes I feel like my body is attracted to girls, but I feel my mindset is more like "I wish I was a girl like them!" and was trying to shove that thought/feeling aside. Recently though I am starting to pay more attention to it and even picked out a name that I might stick with, Megan(same as username). it's just when people call me that name I feel really nice inside. I just don't know who to tell or really how to tell I am transgender for sure. I have asked girls out before, but still envy toward them opposed to wanting to have sexual relations with them and I don't know how I will tell my family how I feel. It's like my body reacts like I am wanting to date a girl, but my mind tells me I should be a girl and now I am confused about my sexual orientation as well. Any advice would be awesome. Thanks, Megan.
Hello Megan, it's totally normal what you are experiencing right now. The following question you can ask yourself to help figure out your gender identity: Do you think the gender you were assigned restricts the way you live or the things that you do? What about the clothes you wear? Was the gender assigned to you the one you feel most comfortable with? What is gender? What makes a woman a woman or a man a man? Do you feel forced to act in certain ways because of your gender? From your post I assume that you already know that gender identity and sexual orientation are separate from each other. I know that I'm a woman and I'm attracted to woman, so if I need to give myself a label right now it would simplified say: Lesbian. You will figure it out, just take you time. If you need someone I'll be there for you. (*hug*) Thessa
I guess I will try to answer those questions as honestly as possible in order. 1. Both yes and no I guess. Like I could remain male and still go into the career I want, but on the other hand I feel more like a girl at heart and would like to express myself that way and I don't feel I can do that the way I am right now. 2. Probably the most bland and casual clothing ever that both a boy and girl could wear and not be noticed too much. Which is probably how I would dress if I was girl, I was thinking like jeans and a tank top would be nice, but the shirts would usually be one or 2 solid colors most likely. Then I can see myself wearing some sort of casual boots along with it. 3. I could deal with being male but I feel like I will always have this want to be a girl and I don't know if I can live with that for ever. Going to skip to last question. I do feel forced to act like a boy because I think I would look stupid acting like a girl and being male. Maybe I will try making myself look like a girl more some time but until then I feel like the way I am right now that I feel forced to act male. Oh and thanks for the response <3
Let me play devils advocate on you first answer: Do you want to remain male because you think your chosen career is not possible as a female? Why not? Here are some other questions I just looked up in my notes, that might be helpful: If you had the choice of being born again, would you choose boy or girl? If someone presented a button that you could press, that would immediately change you to a girl with no fuss, no consequences, would you press it? Do you like the idea of living as a girl? During one of my therapy session, my therapist ask me a similar question to Nr.2 and I could answer it without hesitation. Then follow the white rabbit and explore further. Without rush! The only advice I can give you is, you are young and you have time, take all the time you need and don't let yourself be influenced by others and there expectations. It's your life and in the end, only you can tell, who you really are. (*hug*)
I think I might have confused you some accidentally lol. What I meant was is that if I did transition to being a girl then I would still be able to go into the career I want as it is right now being male. It's just that I feel more like a girl inside and would prefer to be one over being male. I am going to answer your 3 questions, just that I like being able to talk to someone about this, so I really appreciate you talking to me 1. Girl 90% sure. If I did not get named either Megan, Abby, or Alex though I wont be happy lol ( my attempt at comedy, but in reality I won't mind what ever name) 2. Yeah I would 90% sure. 3. I know that girls have their own problems, but I feel that I would be a lot happier as a girl and be able to act like a girl without looking weird I guess. So yeah I like the idea of living as a girl and people treating me as such. Although I don't want to be like really really girly LOL.
(Cis) Girls have definitely their own problems and Transwoman as well. It's just the question of the lesser evil. I will never have to endure periods for example, but I would be willing to pay the price if it would be part of nr. 2.
Isn't it than a food idea to start of by simply trying todress a bit more like a girl see if you like it and if you do than go in deeper and well untill you are dressed all the way you think right now you would like. and if you feel confortable and happy than well go and tryout them boobs and such and when all is well than you will know that you want to be a girl for real. but even IF you dont feel confortable walking around as a girl everyday don't worry most people in educated nations won't make a giant fuss when you are a girl one day and a guy the next.
well I am considering getting some female clothing and make up and then going under the guise I was buying itfor my sister... Was thinking of starting out with some shirts and stuff and then moving on from there, but I might tell my therapist about me feeling this way before I do anything. ---------- Post added 26th Jul 2015 at 03:50 PM ---------- yeah if there was a way to transform instantly into a girl then I would take it and also deal with those issues, would rather do that than do HRT for awhile.
so I did something I thought I would never have done before. I shaved me arms I don't know, it feels kind of nice actually, helps how I feel some and actually glad that I did it. Even though it's a small thing, I feel like I made some progress with myself Although I am a bit anxious about if people will notice or say anything...
