Help with Questioning? Yesterday I had a major talk with my sister about my sexual orientation and about me questioning my gender. She said it would be wise to tell my parents, but they aren't the best with things like this. I'm still not even 100% about my gender. I know I have lots of time left but I just wish I could speed the process up. I'm waiting for my "Aha!" moment to come though it may not come for a long time. As a bit of a back story, I've been questioning the possiblity of being ftm transgender. I've watched videos and read forums and self evaluated myself for about half a year and I still feel the same. I like to present myself as more masculine than feminine. I find myself trying to stand taller or talk in a more masculine way. I find happiness in shaving my face or not shaving my legs, that could be awkward, sorry! I've watched videos on how to get a deeper voice and I've tried many things to make myself seem more masculine. I can't ask for a haircut or to go in the men's section of stores out of fear of my parents not accepting it. Back to this though! Is there any good way I can think about my gender a bit more in detail? Are there any questions that people ran through their head when they were in my shoes? I'm scared of being wrong, but I really feel like this is right.
ehm well a question could be 1. How do you feel in more masculine clothes (more comfortable or not) 2. how do you feel about your body as it is atm 3. Do you sometimes feel like you want to be a bit more girly (if yes than your a more liquid gender something between male and female) Besides this do you have any male friends who you trust because if you dont dare yo buy these clothes they can help you get them without your parents knowing so you can experiment before telling your parents.The whole haircut thing well girls can have short hair so that shouldnt be a massive problem.
Is there any good way I can think about my gender a bit more in detail? I think, thinking about your childhood might be a good way, if you can remember if you acted more masculine as a child, or had thoughts of wanting to be a boy. How do you want people to see you? Do you want people to see you as a man or woman or both? Are there any questions that people ran through their head when they were in my shoes? The more I thought about gender, the more memories I had about my childhood and wanting to be a boy. I remember doing specific things, like putting an elastic, rubber wristband around my waist and pretending it was a penis. Or thoughts of "if I were a boy tomorrow, how would I go about telling people" (<- when I was 8-10). The other thing is, I'd much rather have people see me as male then female and prefer being called by male pronouns. You don't have to decide right away whether your trans, gender fluid, etc. it all can take time, I know how it feels to be confused, but don't rush into it. Try some things out, see what's comfortable for you, maybe have a few friends call you by male pronouns one day, see how it feels. Clothing wise, if your parents won't let you buy masculine clothing, there are some male-looking (androgynous) female clothing you can get. If you have longer hair, try putting it in a low ponytail with a hat. I hope this helps you, and good luck. If you have any other questions, I'd be happy to try and answer them for you. (*hug*) ~Jason
Thanks, mates. That helped a lot. When I was younger and it was the coolest thing in the world to play house I remember always requesting to be the father and the brother. I couldn't stand playing a female role. I was nearly 6 or 7 at the time too. I'm gonna regret saying this but I can remember finding my dads underwear and wearing them with socks as a bulge too. I doubt I was even a teenager. I've always loved wearing plaintshirts, though that isn't gender defining, as opposed to one with a design on it. Id take hats and I'd put my hair up in them then I'd walk around my house acting more masculine than my parents would have liked. I can remember every time I've been forced to wear a dress and it always ended up with me crying to my mom while being put in it. I used to see family stickers on the backs of people's cars and I'd wonder why I couldn't have the stick one with short hair and shorts. I don't know, but I really do feel like a male. I'll consider those questions and any other ones I can find.
