I identify as a pansexual non-binary trans woman. So, in other words, not really gay. However, I feel gay. I don't really know how to say that without being (slightly?) offensive. My attraction changes, sometimes more focused on guys, others on girls, sometimes on other. But right now I'm more attracted to other girls mostly. But the thing is, I just said other girls, and I identify as a girl, but feel like thats not real. Like I can't say that. As in, its not proper to say other girls, because I'm still physically a male. I am a girl, but I'm not. As in if I were in a relationship with a woman, it would be a "lesbian" relationship, except I'm not a woman. Yet. Physically. Essentially, I think that I when I feel attracted to (other) girls I can't be gay. But I can. But I can't. Can I? Im just in this giant confusion. I don't know if gay can even be a label. I hate labels, but Im unfortunately obsessed with them right now. I dont like confining to labels but labels.
"Feeling gay" can mean mostly you feel at home in the gay (happy) atmosphere of the LGBT+ community. I say "other women" or "other girls". There is no reason why you shouldn't. Gender and body are seperate things that happen to align for the vast majority of people, but not for you or me. Gay usually means homosexual. You're not only into girls so you aren't gay. However, if you were together with a woman that would be a gay/lesbian relationship. That's legitimitate. You're overthinking, honey. Try not to if you can help it. (*hug*)
You can have a gay relationship as long as you find a partner who is willing to accomodate your gender identity. Just keep in mind that there will be people who'll refuse to accept you as a woman. You don't have to concern yourself with them. That being said, you can be whatever you want. Ultimately there are no lies, only interpretations of what you consider to be your reality. If reality was based on accuracy, there would be no existence. (just paraphrasing something I read on metaphysical material) I used to be unsympathetic toward trans people because I thought that they are deluding themselves. Now that I'm more open minded, I'm aware that this entire life is akin to an illusory game. I'm not human, I'm an immortal soul and this is just a role I play. In the grand scheme of things it would be thoroughly inconsequential if I also considered myself a homosexual woman despite my male body. Don't let made-up labels bother you. Just accept who you are and enjoy your life.
I struggled with the same issue for a long time! I feel way closer to the men's side, definitely not a women, but also not planning on changing my body anytime in the next 10-20 years or so. So, I'm mostly a guy, attracted to guys, but with a "woman's" body. A few months ago I just decided to give up and well... <-- I say I'm gay.
I've been doing this for awhile. I've known since childhood that I find men and women to be attractive and can develop crushes on whomever but I always have this feeling of being gay. I think it may just be the feeling of being "different" because I'm not solely attracted to the opposite gender. I also thought about it that way; that it's pretty weird to feel gay when thinking of what is really the opposite sex (speaking sexually). Recently, I've decided queer is a more well-suited term and I find it incredibly relatable and representative of me and my attraction. I really identify with being a queer guy and it's awesome.
