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What to say to my lovely mum? What am I?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by GenderChallenge, Jul 29, 2015.

  1. GenderChallenge

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2015
    Messages:
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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Hi, I'm Kay and I'm confused as hell.
    I'm a female makeup artist, who thinks I'm like 70/30 female to male. Maybe less male, maybe more. Maybe labels like Female and Male don't matter and are a contrived notion. But I love being female, I love my curves and my girls and giggling with them about men and sex...but I also feel there's a healthy side order of male living in here too. Maybe everyone has that but I'm not so I've yet to find a label I think fits my situation, and I guess that's why I'm here, to learn more from you beautiful enlightened people about gender and what I am.
    I've been openly bisexual since 18 with my friends, haven't told my family because I've never had to, it's none of their business and they wouldn't care. If and when I fall in love with a woman I'll tell them. My mum brought me up to believe love is love so I know it wouldn't be an issue. "Mum I occasionally like to sleep with women" isn't really a conversation I've felt the need to have though. Although it's probably about time.

    Just needed to say all this to someone really. I want to talk to my mum about it but I just wish I had a clear thing I could say mum I'm this ....
    She'd be able to understand that. She's a liberal hippy at heart. I guess I'm worried that explaining it the way I just have to you all would make it sound a bit wishy washy airy fairy, when actually it's been on my mind a lot recently. It's something I need her to understand. But how can she when I don't?

    I feel a bit silly asking about this really, when there are so many out there facing real struggles and facing danger. It kind of feels like a stupid problem, but it's me ya know? Who I feel I am inside. I'm close with my mum. I tell her most things. I want her to know me. The I'm bisexual part will be so much easier because it's a clear label she gets. She supports the lgbt community.
    I'm rambling. Sorry.

    You're all strong, beautiful and awesome sauce.
    I'd like to buy you all a pint x
     
  2. queermeerkat

    queermeerkat Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2015
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    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Even tho it's a bit on the nose, ever looked into the term Bigender?
     
  3. Keahi

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2015
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    Location:
    Midwest/Mideast
    One thing I like to do sometimes, when I want to discuss these topics but a 'coming out' speech feels awkward, is to ask the other person about their gender identity. Make it less of a reveal, more of a conversation.

    Something like: transgender issues in the news -> general musings about these things -> "What about you? How do you think you would have felt if you'd been born in a different body? Would you have still felt X/Y/Z?" -> further back & forth, self-disclosure, etc.

    Best of luck!