When I come out, I'll be doing it via letter. I have already written 2 separate versions. One is very in-depth and addressed to my parents while the other is a rather general explanation that could be posted on social media or emailed to extended family. But I haven't considered how I should tell my siblings, who are all various ages? At least I want to tell 2 of my brothers (ages 19 and 14). The others are probably too young and I get the sense that my parents will not allow my to tell them anyways. I feel like these brothers are going to have a really tough time swallowing it. With the 19 year old, whom I'll call Jack for this post, I don't really know what to expect. I think he would probably keep negative opinions to himself. In the past we've always been close though. My little brother, Derek (a pseudonym as well), is 14 and very stubbornly opinionated. He basically just reflects the values of my father in an unrelenting "black & white" approach, thereby stating everything else that doesn't fit to be wrong or evil. He's the one who told me he'd disown me if I was gay. I considered writing up an explanation for them, but then I'd have to have 2 separate ones because Jack and Derek are very different and our relationships are very different too. But then again, maybe I should just give them the general explanation and leave out the details. I've always been withdrawn so it's not like I'd be withholding more than usual. I don't know. Any advice? How did you come out to siblings, if at all?
Ultimately, we can guess at how people are going to react but we never really know until we get there. But it sounds like your younger brother is going to be the tricky one. Do you have a counsellor/therapist? Often they can help people discuss difficult matters with family members.
