1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I'm a Mess (Questioning Gender Identity)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by fragileflame, Jul 31, 2015.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. fragileflame

    fragileflame
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2015
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I've been gone from EC for a few weeks, and then a few weeks before that for a few reasons; depression, anxiety, etc. The biggest reason is that I have begun the wonderfully (HA) scary thing of questioning my gender identity.

    I basically know I'm not FtM, (if I'm going off of societies views of gender) because, I still have days where I want to wear a dress, makeup, etc. These days have begun getting more and more rare, where dress days are the days I run out of pants/shorts to wear and I feel VERY uncomfortable in feminine things when its not a day when I want to wear all of that.

    If anyone has any advice, it would be greatly welcomed. I'm just very confused and I feel myself doing the same exact thing I did when I was questioning my sexuality, which really sucks. I just hate being so lost in the idea of exactly who I am..and I am starting high school in a few weeks (kill me now) and I was really exciting for having myself figured out and I was gonna try to enjoy high school. However, from the looks of this I will be right back in the depression/anxiety whirlwind that is questioning..

    Thanks in advance for your help..(sorry for the rambles)
     
    #1 fragileflame, Jul 31, 2015
  2. timetraveltea

    timetraveltea
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2015
    Messages:
    87
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Questioning your gender identity can be scary. But from what I've heard from others here and from what I'm trying to tell myself (also questioning), it can be liberating to figure out who you are. I'm trying to look at my questioning with a curious, exploratory eye instead of a depressed, anxious one. Though it is easier said than done; I'm not saying that the anxiety will completely go away, but is it possible that it isn't 100% bad? I think so. Society tells us that we have to be a certain way, but we thrive more when we aren't bound to those arbitrary expectations.

    Social commentary aside, I would encourage you to explore different ways of expressing yourself in ways that make you comfortable. If possible, maybe try on or buy clothes that you like regardless of which gender they're advertised as being "for." Experiment with what you like and finding what makes you feel comfortable. I definitely want to get some more male t-shirts because a lot of mine feel too feminine for me sometimes.

    I hope that makes sense/is helpful. I'm going through questioning myself so I definitely feel far from knowing any answers, so sorry if this is kind of vague. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone!

    I know high school can be a tough time no matter what's going on in your life. Do you have any friends you feel comfortable confiding in?
     
    #2 timetraveltea, Aug 1, 2015
  3. fragileflame

    fragileflame
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2015
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I wish I could get some 'male' clothing, but every time I wander into that section my mom usually gets mad and says no to everything.

    I don't really have any friends...they all abandoned me about a year ago. However, I've been trying to open up to my girlfriend about what I'm struggling with. That has been difficult, and rather interesting I might say..
     
    #3 fragileflame, Aug 1, 2015
  4. thepandaboss

    thepandaboss
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2015
    Messages:
    2,436
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Oregon
    I will also say that it's perfectly okay to be a girl and want to dress masculine once in a while. Maybe try to pick up some gender neutral things? See about making a few solo shopping trips.
     
    #4 thepandaboss, Aug 1, 2015
  5. Posthuman666

    Posthuman666
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    626
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    America
    Well there are loads of gender identities besides male and female. Genderqueer, gender fluid, bigender, agender, non-binary, two-spirit, the list goes on and on.

    I would recommend researching some gender identities and just maybe you'll find one that you resonate with.
     
    #5 Posthuman666, Aug 1, 2015
  6. fragileflame

    fragileflame
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2015
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I've been researching and talking with some people who struggle and have struggled with their gender identity..and genderfluid is the most accurate for me. However, I do not feel comfortable with just saying I'm genderfluid. It is a process, much like coming to terms with sexuality sadly..
     
    #6 fragileflame, Aug 2, 2015
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)