It's wierd - when I'm around females I always feel considerably more masculine. I feel protective over them, and I like to hold doors and carry things that are heavy - I do this thinking to myself 'they're girls, I should look after them'. People joke around, calling me a 'gentleman' and laugh but I love hearing that. Gentleman. My teachers talks to my friend, asks a question about me and I hear them say 'she' and it doesn't sound right - but I can't really say why. It's not a bad thing, per se, but hearing it doesn't sound right. Sometimes I want them to say 'he', but at the same time pronouns don't really bother me? Also - I feel I ought to apologize, I'm excessively eloquent. Always have been, I'm afraid. Too much Jane Austen as a child. When I'm around guys, the story changes. I tend to feel a lot more feminine when I'm in the presence of males. I feel more comfortable with my body, and I don't think twice about being 'she'. I don't know why this happens - but ever since I can remember I have felt odd about my body - I'll just go right ahead and say it; I hate my vagina. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't like thinking about it, and I can honestly say I've never even touched myself at all 'down there'. Sexually or otherwise. I have always been envious of boys - I am jealous of the way they're viewed - they're trustworthy, they can carry heavy things, and no one minds a bit of rough-and-tumble between boys. I hate people always bothering me to 'talk about my feelings'. I'm not good at that, and I wish people would stop expecting it of me simply because I'm a girl. I'm also jealous of their bodies - they're taller, stronger, they have broader shoulders and bigger hands and no one cares if they have hairy legs. I'm jealous of their dicks (excuse my language - I genuinely do not want to google the plural of penis). I don't mind my breasts - I just hate that they're so obvious. When I choose clothes, I find myself thinking 'would a guy wear this'. I don't know what to do - I feel like what I've said is just the tip of the iceberg, but at the same time I don't know what to say, or how else to word it. Sometimes I feel like I've put my shoes on the wrong feet. Is there anyone else that feels like this?
Totally. When I'm driving my truck I often feel masculine, and when I'm out in public with kids or my teen female cousin I feel very protective and guarding [suppose that could just be due to my having seen every ep of crimminal minds], or if I find a cute outfit I'll feel more manly to suit the aesthetic. But unless I have something that specifically brings out something masculine in me then I'm usually feminine and experience dysphoria concerning my body(penis, lack of breasts, body hair, short hair, deep voice). and sometimes I'm neither, or maybe a weird mix of both. still figuring it out tbh
