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Finding a place to start.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by unofficiallyjam, Aug 2, 2015.

  1. unofficiallyjam

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Maryland
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Well I almost a week ago I think I realized I was trans or maybe I knew I was trans the whole time I just didn't admit it to myself. I really don't know at this point... Anyways at that point I just became really uncomfortable and embarrassed with my body so much I it kept up late. I didn't I was going to be able to go back to sleep, but I tried my best anyways. I also sort of feel empty, it is kinda of hard to explain but here is I am best.

    I feel like every step I take my guts goes flying and the world around me is very unstable to walk on like if I take one wrong step the world would shift if I am not careful enough. The north and south poles would go to be in a entirely in a different position. So I gotta start tip toeing on this unstable earth in order to keep everything balance to keep my world in order, to keep my family's worlds, to keep the universe stable. I am getting way off topic aren't I?

    Anyways that being said I want to start transitioning as soon as possible, but as you can probably guess by the point above is going to tricky. Still I want to do it to cause I can see the person I want to become in appearance and personality anyways. I would still be shy and like the things I like now, but I feel in that body I would be happier. No more stressing out over genders things cause I wouldn't need to. I could live more days overalls happier I think. The problem is I don't where to start to get down the path and some worrying thoughts in the back of mind that I never will be happy like that cause I won't even start.
     
  2. KayJay

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Ontario, Canada.
    It definitely isn't something to rush into, although it is a long process so if you do feel it is best I think a good place to start is your doctor. When I came out to my doctor it basically got the whole ball rolling. It may also be wise to look for a therapist who specializes in gender issues, or one that has some experience. That's really the only way to start medically as far as I know. It should also help you flesh out your feelings, as you said you realized you were trans only a week ago. I don't know much about how each state works but from what I gather you usually need some sort of letter by a therapist or psychiatrist that allows you to start down the path of HRT. I would strongly suggest going through HRT the medical route with a doctor as there are lots of risks involved with taking hormones that you cannot monitor on your own.

    No one really starts the process the same way. It may be easier to start with very minor changes that people may not even notice. Female scented shampoos and body wash for example. Wearing female underwear under your clothes during the day or even just to bed can help. I remember when I started I went with a friend to go shopping and bought a bunch of v-necks and skinny jeans before I even started transitioning, just so I could feel more comfortable wearing something percieved as still masculine but on the feminine side. Make up is even possible in the early stages, though people may notice if they are on the more perceptive side. I wore eyeliner and mascara lots before I transitioned and my family didn't even notice but it made me feel better.

    Family is a very tough part of transitioning for a lot of people, unfortunately. Perhaps trying to figure out how your family feels about the LGBT community is a good way to start to get a feel for how coming out will affect them. If you're parents are not totally against it perhaps bringing them to support groups may help, especially ones designed for parents. I took mine with me to a group like that and it really did change them for the better. All the skepticism was washed off them it seemed and over the course of two months they really started to not only accept me but also support me.

    If you ever need to talk about anything you're more than welcome to message me on my wall.