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Help me decide who I am?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Cornered, Aug 4, 2015.

  1. Cornered

    Regular Member

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    Questioning
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    Hi, I was hoping you guys could help me with my gender identity issues right now.

    I didn't really care what gender people were when I was little, until puberty began. I didn't like puberty because I didn't want it to start.

    Now, since I am an introvert and go to an all-girls school, I am scared to speak to boys, unless I overhear them talking about something that interests me.

    Then, last year, we did gender idenity in our Life Orientation class, and I just felt so...angry when there was one girl who put her dot right next to 'Androgenous' on the Gender Identity line the teacher had drawn, but her dot was on the female side. And I just felt so angry at that, because I don't feel particularly female but I was scared of what the others would think so I was going to put my dot right in between female and androgenous.

    I used the internet to research afterwards, and then thought I was a Transgender Female-to-Male, and then I started forcing myself to like girls (even if its still only anime girls) because I thought I had to. I don't like having a female body, and I don't know if I would prefer having a body of a male or neither sex, though I would have liked to have been born as a boy.

    Then, this year, I encountered gender-neutral pronouns while reading a fanfiction, and my questioning began again, but this time I am wondering whether I might not be genderfluid instead.

    I don't like ultra-girly things like dresses or skirts, and I absolutely detest make-up, and only wear it for choir concerts because I have to, and even then I only use eyeliner and lipstick. But I know sometimes I feel more like a girl than a boy, and it's confusing me...
     
  2. HunterInPlaid

    Regular Member

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    Make up isn't the definition of gender, it can contribute, but I wouldn't get too caught up in that. Don't force yourself to be attracted to anyone, you're attracted to who you're attracted to and if you need to question your sexuality it will come to you naturally. It does sound to me slightly like you could be genderfluid, but I don't know much about you. Try looking into a range of genders and maybe one will resonate with you?
     
  3. Cornered

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I think I should, though I feel more like a male than a female XD

    I got confused trying to follow the spider diagram somewhere on this website about the genders, because I had multiple options to choose XD
     
    #3 Cornered, Aug 4, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2015