I don't feel like I need a gender label

I'm a male. But as I'm going through my teenage years, I don't feel like I'm necessarily a "man." I don't feel like I need that label. I'm not someone who feels strongly that they are non-binary, either- in fact, I don't. Calling myself a specific non-binary identity (agender, bigender, genderfluid, etc.) is just another label, and I don't need a new pronoun, "he" is 100% fine by me.

I express myself in a way that is somewhat more feminine (not necessarily flamboyant though) than masculine (although undoubtedly there is a balance of both), which is apparently visible from just my appearance, having been asked teasingly if I was in the correct bathroom by some random guy the same age as me. However, I do not feel like a woman either- I feel more like a man than a woman, but at the same time I don't know if I would identify as a "man." When someone calls me a "young man," for a second I notice that I don't completely feel that way. I also hate phrases like "man up" or "be a man." In fact, everyone should hate these horribly confining phrases, but as someone who feels a bit of confusion in terms of that identification, it's worse since it's directed towards me. Even with my confusion about this, I have no doubt that I could be the most feminine man in the world, but if I felt that I was a man, that I would be no less of a man than the most masculine man in the world.

For some reason, being called a "boy" seems less of a label that I doubt (for example, a teacher asking a class to separate into boys and girls), probably because "grown men" are expected to be large and more masculine, and younger kids feel less of a divide between peers of the opposite gender, which steadily increases as they get older.

As a kid, I've had more friends who were girls than ones who were boys. As I got older, I felt a little more insecure, and I've tried to be more "boyish" but I've realized that it just isn't me. Part of this was because I've realized masculinity is something I was attracted to rather than something that was completely part of me. Ever since then, there has been a gap between me and typical boys my age, partly because of this and by the fact that I'm gay. I stick out in a crowd of boys in a gym class like a sore thumb.
As I'm saying this, I feel strange, as I haven't really ever let all of these feelings out, and I'm realizing more things as I think and type about it. I already feel strange pointing out for the first time that I do not feel so much like a "man." Feeling that way makes me think I'm a strange or abnormal person.

I've plotted myself on this chart to help anyone visualize my identity crisis. As you may notice, I'm not even on the line for gender identity, however, I am still in a relative position (leaning more to man than woman.)



I think it's possible that in the future when I'm fully grown that I may feel like a man, but it's probably more likely that my apathetic stance towards gender will continue.
Thank you to anyone who read all of this. Does anyone feel the same way? How do I prevent myself from feeling like a strange person and embrace it until I'm completely sure about how I identify? Thank you!

---------- Post added 8th Aug 2015 at 02:27 PM ----------

The image might not show. But practically it was a line with "man" on one side, "woman" on the other, and "non-binary" in the middle. I plotted myself somewhere in between "man" and "non-binary." However, I didn't plot myself ON the actual line. That represents that I'm not even sure if I need that label.

 

I've thought that it's possible that I'm just a gender nonconforming male, and that would probably be the most accurate label for now. But does that automatically make me a man? I don't think so, because isn't male/female just a biological sex? In that case, there is a difference between a gender nonconforming male and a gender nonconforming man (which I'm unsure if it even exists, since "man" already implies gender). A gender nonconforming male would be biologically male but not necessarily feel like a man (me, I guess). If there is such thing as a gender nonconforming man, could it just mean they identify as a man but they express themselves in an overtly non-masculine way?

 

Thanks a lot for your help, it's opened my eyes to broader definitions like being binary but nonconforming. As I'm still a teen, I have a while to wait until I'm at peace with what my gender identity is, or if I even have one.