More guilt associated with being a gay trans-man?

The only think I feel guilty bout being a gay trans man is that I'll most likely still be the feminine one among us. Feel that I should be more manly being trans

 

I do feel bad about being gay and trans, mostly because so much of societal ideas of masculinity are tied up with being attracted to women, so I feel like my gender is less valid. Also, like CadutiMorte said, there's pressure to be the more masculine one. I still find myself doubting whether I'm gay or bi, and I can't tell if I'm actually not gay, or if I just want to be.

 

I feel this on so many levels.
I don't think our sexuality should have anything to do with it, because really and truly, gender and sexual preference are two totally different things. Its just what society thinks men and women should be like.
I believe my parents discredit my identity on some levels due to the fact that I lean more to the gay side of things.

 

I agree. It's pretty frustrating. Fortunately, I've yet to personally encounter someone that pulls the "why transition if you're attracted to men", but that's just messed up on a whole new level.

I think what troubles me is how we're incredibly marginalized and how everyone automatically assumes I'm straight, and how I see very little gay identified gay transguys putting themselves out there. You begin to feel pretty damn lonely when everyone in your circle is straight.

 

I can't say things about this for me personally. Since I'm not solely attracted to other males. Because I have a pretty supportive group of friends who know all about me and haven't questioned either; they switched name and pronouns immediately and we still talk about guys. And my dad is suspicious and keeps dropping hints about how we're still the same people and he'll always love me, so I don't think he'll... care.

But, I suppose you can call it a preference for males, my attraction to them is stronger, and I've read stories like this of people thinking being my gender is less valid because I'm not straight. That kinda scares the shit out of me sometimes; I don't want people saying that to me. But I never feel guilty; it's my life, I can't change that I'm trans and I can't change that I'm attracted to guys. So they can accept it, ignore it or get lost. And I mean that for family, too; hopefully not my immediate family, that would be harder to deal with, but for the ones I don't see much of anyway.

It's just something I'm learning to get past, I suppose.

 

I fear, most of all, being rejected by the gay community. I imagine in my head hearing "you're not really gay because you have female genitalia" or "you're boyfriend isn't really gay, because you have a female body". I sometimes get the impression from some men that being gay is an exclusive club, and I can't join without a biologically functioning penis.

(but between my boyfriend and I, we are gayer than a unicorn frolicking with a dolphin under a rainbow)

 

For me, the hard part was feeling like I'd never find a partner because I lacked a penis, because the gay community is phallocentric.