Telling my mother I feel like a girl

I've got two approaches i tend to give as advice, one very direct, one not so much, both however, very clear and not prone to confusion.... hopefully.

First the direct approach. Just say it. simple as that...... okay, maybe its a bit more complicated but that's the gist of it. First off, i'd recommend trying to find out if your mother is safe to come out to but it sounds like you've done that already. Next, find some reason to go on a walk. If your family likes hiking then done, if not you might have to get creative. Perhaps come up with something private you have to talk with her about and say you want to be out of the house to do it. I'd try to plan a rout ahead of time (but don't be afraid to deviate from it if you need) that goes by a beautiful view or some place away from people that warrants a little bit of a stop (preferable close to the end of the walk) (even saying your tired when you pass by a bench could work). sit for a couple minutes quietly and then say something along the lines of "Mom, I have something big I need to tell you. Feel free to ask me seriously any questions about it and I'd prefer you dont tell anyone else yet. I am Transgender." Boom done. Now obviously just coming out with it can be hard but being totally clear and honest shows respect and confidence and that will help her take it seriously and respectfully. Also, making it clear that she is free to ask questions is important. The rest of the walk let her ask questions if she wants or just let her think about it and be silent.

Now the second approach. This one is a little more subtle. First, write a letter to her telling her basically the same stuff as the first; make it clear you respect her and that you are happy to answer questions and all that. Be clear, be serious, be respectful, and be concise (unlike my response). Now comes the creative part. you have to find a way to get it to her, preferably sometime when she will be alone and relaxed and somehow she is the only one who will find it. I often recommend putting it in the pages of a book she is reading. If she is alone and relaxed when she reads it she wont have the pressure of having to respond immediately (I might even put in the letter that she can take her time getting back to you about it) and it will give her time to think about it seriously. dont put it somewhere where she would see it while busy as it could seriously shock her and disrupt anything she is doing (and anything she is doing will likely disrupt her thinking about it). Then don't ask or hint about it for a while, when she is ready to talk to you about it im sure she'll approach you.

well I wish you the best of luck however you go about it and I hope this helps at least a little.

 

Well, I had a big answer for this but then I pressed backspace and instead of deleting some letters, it went back a page :/

Anyway, dirkinz pretty much summed it all up. All I would add is to be prepared for any questions she might have. This is something I really neglected when I came out to my mom. She kept saying "I just don't understand how this happened". Instead of explaining how being trans* isn't a choice and that I was born like this, I kind of just blanked out. In the heat of things, you might forget all the preparations you made. Just take your time when answering.

Hope I helped a bit and best of luck to you! (*hug*)

 

Some good ways to indirectly get their reaction is to show her recent news with transgender people. See how she reacts to it. You'll be fine though, she looks like she is open minded,

 

Awesome! Good luck! (*hug*)

 

Well This time it looks like MsEmmzy beat me to it but best of luck to you. I hope all goes vet well .