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Super confused now about everything....(kinda weird post)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Megan335, Aug 14, 2015.

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  1. Megan335

    Megan335
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    So I don't feel completely satisfied being myself I guess, like in terms of my body and myself in general I guess.

    Like every time I look myself in the mirror I wish I was a girl. Like I kind of feel that I am ugly? Even more confusing is I can sort of get aroused by thinking of being a girl, but the feeling of "I want to be a girl" never ever goes away, sometimes it's strong and at other times weaker but is still there...

    It's not so much the well thinking of having girl parts I guess that makes me aroused really, it's just being seen as a girl that gets me kind of excited and I guess turns out that way and I really hate it. Like it's just being viewed as a girl that makes me excited I guess and well overall puts me in a happy mood, but the end point I guess is the feeling that i should be a girl does not go away.

    Then like I keep trying to find reasons why I don't feel this way and I feel like I am somewhere in between denial and trying to accept myself the way I truly am.

    Also I don't want to be super girly but still be a girl. Like I see myself wearing womens clothing, more like wearing womens jeans and a loose t-shirt usually and this causes more confusion.

    Sorry for this long post and how weird it is I guess...just had to vent everything I guess.
     
    #1 Megan335, Aug 14, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2015
  2. MsEmmzy

    MsEmmzy
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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I can seriously relate to most of the things you've said. Early on when I was still trying to figure out my gender, this is pretty much exactly what I went through. The only advice I can really give is to take your time figuring things out. If you need some help, I can point you to this sticky thread right here on EC: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/87297-useful-helpful-informative-threads-links-gender-identity.html
    Don't be sorry! It's good to get your feelings out like this. Hang in there and remember all of us here are ready to help/chat if you need it! :slight_smile: (*hug*) (&&&)
     
    #2 MsEmmzy, Aug 14, 2015
  3. levi2000

    levi2000
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    Hey!
    What you're feeling when you look into the mirror is called dysphoria. Lots of trans people experience it. Even if you don't like your body, it doesn't change your identity.
    Also, you don't have to "wish" you were a girl. If you identify as female, then you are already a girl!
    You also don't have to dress "girly" to be a girl. Gender is inside, not outside!
    Good luck in identifying yourself!
     
    #3 levi2000, Aug 15, 2015
  4. MetalRice

    MetalRice
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    I can relate, I have felt and feel many of the things that you described in the OP, even down to the part of not wanting to be "super" girly but still a girl at the same time, with girl parts and a girl figure and everything that a girl has, of wanting to be treated as a girl and referred to as one, and seen as one in society, it's a never ending feelings that I feel all the time.

    As for advice for yourself, all I can is don't rush things, take time to process your feelings, and whatever happens just know that you are perfect the way you are, and valid no matter what. *hugs*
     
    #4 MetalRice, Aug 15, 2015
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