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My Mother Keeps Asking Me If I Am Transgender

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by David21201, Aug 17, 2015.

  1. David21201

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    Recently I have begun dressing a bit more masculine and buying my clothing in the men's section. Ever since I got my wisdom teeth out she has been asking me more and more if I was a guy, if I wanted to be a guy, or if I hated my body. Last night she made a comment on how I have a lot of acne and she said maybe my body was a guy.

    I hate lying to her and telling her no and that I'm ok being a female... I know if I come out as non-binary (or transgender/agender) she may not be supportive. She might sound supportive but she keeps telling/forcing me to be more feminine than I'd like to be.

    Another thing is that my mom currently works at the high school I attend. I am out sexuality and some what gender wise and I believe rumors are also starting to circulate...

    Should I come out to her or should I wait? (I do have several places I can stay if the worse happens) Also, any advice on how to make myself look a bit masculine? Any advice would be great.
     
  2. FootballFan101

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    Just saying your mother is being very rude
     
    #2 FootballFan101, Aug 17, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2015
  3. middleageguy

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    As both a transgender guy and a Mom I can see both sides.
    Noticing your clothes gender changes she may have read about the high suicide rate among transgender teens (and adults) and is worried. She may be conflicted between the fear of losing her daughter and unconditional Mom love. It can be a fine line. Why not ask her why she is asking you these questions? Maybe tell her your exploring your fashion options and right now and boys clothes are more appealing/comfortable; that you don't want to wear anything feminine right now. Tell her you need space to figure you out but promise to tell her when you do figure it out. Give her a big hug.
     
  4. MaybeBenji

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    I'm in the same boat. My mom keeps telling me that if I cut my hair short or continue my masculine way of dressing "people will think you're transitioning". My only advice so far is to ignore it. As bad as that sounds all I have learned so far is to ignore her comments. Just stay strong and don't let it get to you.

    Good luck!:slight_smile:
     
  5. ThroughTheMist

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    I can relate to this situation. I've been getting more guys' clothes lately, and then my mother threw this gem at me: "If someone is transgender, what do they (my school's housing dept) do about housing?" She was happy when I told her that we do have gender-neutral restrooms at my school. Of course, I was thinking to myself, "S***! Does she know?"

    I can't offer much in the way of advice - I myself keep going back and forth on whether to come out or not - but whatever you choose, I hope it goes well for you.
     
  6. Acm

    Acm Guest

    Well it does sound like she's suspicious so it's hard to say how much it would work to deny it. If you're still questioning it might be a good idea to wait though. When I came out my mom stopped pushing me to dress feminine, but it depends on the person really. Do you know how she feels about transgender people? Don't force yourself to come out unless you feel ready.
     
    #6 Acm, Aug 17, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 17, 2015
  7. David21201

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    Whats hard for me is that I'm rather sure of who I am and what I label as (genderfluid with he/him/they/them pronouns). I mean I could come out as Sam Chase whenever but I'm not emotionally/physically ready. I thought about talking to some friends first and making sure I can stay with them if stuff goes bad.

    Whats even harder is that my mom teaches at the high school I attend so it's not like I can fully come out. I can subtly come out. If stuff goes bad its not like I can avoid my mom or step-dad....

    I just need ideas on how to prolong my home closet-ness for a little while longer...