Hello everyone! As I've said in a few different posts I have a sister who has recently decided to start coming out in person as MtF trans. She's identified online as MtF for a while and is ready to start letting the world know who she really is a bit at a time. One thing that I'm wondering is how can I be a better active support for her? Stories and anecdotes of things that have helped you through your own transitions would be extremely helpful. I need ideas for how to keep her spirits up through this long and difficult process! Thank you in advance!
You could just tell her that you're there for her or you could even just ask her outright what the best way to support her would be. Good luck!
Letting her know she can come to you when she needs to is a good thing to do, it'll give her someone she won't feel judged by and is part of her family. Having family support helps a lot since a lot of trans people do not have supportive families. Using the proper pronouns is also a really great thing, especially at the start as it is really hard to get people to use the correct ones. The same goes with her name, if she picks a new name to go by. Having people who are vigilant in proper name/pronoun usage can help tremendously. My brother did that for me, he's never ever slipped up in front of me and early on that made me feel good because lot's of other people were trying but had a hard time adjusting. So having that one person I could be around who never seemed to mess up with it was nice. It may all sound obvious but it is one of the best ways to support your sister. This may be more in the future but you could offer to go with her to any trans related medical appointments. I had a great friend who went along with me for my first 10 or so appointments and I have to say that having someone with you makes expressing yourself in public a lot easier. It is also comforting because it means someone cares about you, having him wanting to go with me made me just glow with happiness because I really felt he cared. You don't have to go in and see the therapist/doctor with her, just waiting in the lobby is fine if she doesn't want you to go in with her. Offering to help with makeup and undergarment shopping is another thing that can help boost her confidence. When I was at the start of my transition I was mortified trying to shop for makeup, bras and underwear alone. Having someone with you (especially female) makes it feel less daunting since you'll be there to answer any questions and even give suggestions. The same friend who offered to go to my appointments asked his girlfriend to show me some makeup basics, which again makes you feel cared about. Another thing I can think of, which really helped me a ton was having people who made me feel like I was one of the girls. I had met a friend a while after I was transitioning and she would invite me over to paint our nails and just have a girls night. She invited me out to a club even, it was my first time at a club and I didn't quite enjoy the club aspect but I still had a blast because I honestly just felt like I was finally a girl the whole night. I can probably think of more later, after I mull it over a bit. It's really awesome that you're asking for advice to help your sister, that already shows you care and that will be really good for her!
