Every now-and-then I just get this sense of invalid-ness, like no matter what I do, I'll always be "a girl" even when I transition. Maybe it's just because that's the gender I was assigned at birth, and how everyone has seen me my whole life. I keep thinking about leaving my coming out letter for my parents to read, but when ever I think about doing it I chicken out, and ask myself if I'm actually trans, or just making my life more complicated than it needs to be. I know I don't want to be referred to by female pronouns, they don't feel right, and I do get dysphoric about parts of my body, and when it's time to take my binder off it's almost painful (not physically). Even when I think about the future, I see myself as a man, I just can't see myself as a woman and it kind of feels weird thinking about it.
I'm not quite in the same boat but I can relate to the dysphoria. I suggest keep on doing what makes you happy. I wouldn't worry about the parents. If you've been dressing more "masculine" they probably know already, unless you don't live with them, that is. But honestly, only you know if your trans, but by the way you described yourself, I would say pretty confidently that you are. Don't let how others think of you prevent you from being your true self.
Ever since I could buy my own clothes, I've been dressing more masculine. I do have a feeling they somewhat know already, (or just think I'm a major tomboy), I do still live with them, probably for a few more months anyways. Thanks.
Np. And don't worry, you're not the only person to be questioning themselves either. I'm in a similar situation to you in that regard (For me it's what my gender really is). I've found that finding others who are in similar situations is very validating and reassuring. Do you have a lgbt+ center near your house? Maybe you could go there to make some friends. Or even try some social apps for lgbt+ people. I haven't had much luck with them yet, but who knows.
That's true, I've been reading other people's stories and found that they are very similar to my own. Unfortunately, I was "blessed" with having to live in the smallest town. The only one that would be the closest to me, would be in the city and hour and a half away. Good luck with your own journey. (*hug*)
Questioning yourself is a normal (yet annoying) part of the process of coming out as transgender. I questioned myself sometimes even after I came out. I think that it is because coming out is such a big process. It is something that cannot be taken back easily, so it is something that you do want to be sure of. Some of that fear could be what is causing you to re-question yourself a bit. So, during these times, it may be worth thinking about how you have come to the conclusion that you are transgender. Also, you can think about not rushing things, and just taking things as they come. Usually, when I got these feelings, it was because I was pushing myself too far too soon.
