I'm a boy?...

hey hi there, I would appreciate Any advice, thanks

this is really long but I'm gonna try to summarize everything

so.. I born as a girl, a beautiful girl like everyone said, I grow up in a small house with my parents and grandpa course with a brother, he was 2 years bigger than me and he was also my best friend, we spent every day together.

one day when he was 5 and I was 3 a pair of brothers moved next to my house and we become friends, one year later another boy comes and become our friend too and it was like that all the time.

so I grow up with this gang of boys, playing pokemon cards, playstation and football, also when I start school I only had friends boys and I didn't care bc I thought that girls were stupid , and they also don't wanted to play with me.

when I was 10 I become even more tomboy I started to make skate and dressed like a boy, I remember one time my aunt ask me about why I never wore dresses and I told her " because I don't want and I dont like" and then she told me "so when you grow up how you gonna get married ?" and I said " I'm gonna marry with pants "

puberty was also really hard for me , there was a lot of stuff that i didn't understand, like why girls was so happy for having boobs and they was having first kisses and boyfriend, while I was having my first wanks and talking about porn with boys

I never fitted and I never felt good with myself , but also like a 12/13 years old kid I never thought I was trans, I knew what it was but it seemed so weird for me.
so I always knew I was different and that something it wasn't okay with me but I never really put attention to that.

when I was 14 I wasn't hanging out with boys anymore, I start to hang out with only girls and try to being a normal girl , I try to wear female clothes, makeup and all that, but I never felt comfortable in that and I become really depressed, I didn't understand why i wasn't like the other girls I felt really bad for a while, and then I start to get rebel, I start to smoke and get drunk all the time, that was untill I turn 15 .
I start to Realized that wasn't good for me, and it wasn't helping, so I stop.

I become the shy boy I was again, I was hanging out with boys again, staying in home and I start to think about myself .
one day I put " transgender man" in the search and since then I can't stop thinking that's what I'm, I been thinking in that so much, staying awake long nights

I just need an advice guys, this really fuck me up, what should I do? , do you think I'm a really trans man?

thanks for reading this