So I kind of realized I was transgender about a month ago and I have a lot of questions going through my head. Before I realized my actual gender was not my gender I actually tried to date girls and this has me doubting myself a ton. Like don't get me wrong I have always felt my gender was off some how but I always pushed it aside... So again I have a lot of doubt. I know that some other trans women are actually attracted to women still and was wondering if anyone else has this dilemma I guess. I guess this could mean I am also lesbian...
You can be a trans woman and still like women in that way, your gender has no bearing on who you're attracted too, I've always liked girls and still like girls even now that I have realized my true gender; you and me and others are perfectly fine for feeling that way.
thanks for the answer One more thing I was kind of curious about though that I did not know if any other trans person has experienced. So up to around this summer I was ok with my biological gender (male), but not completely, like I had fantasies about being female starting around 8th or 9th grade. I started to want to be female more and more in the coming years but like never took it seriously until recently I guess. In other words I feel like I never realized I was trans or wanted to be a girl seriously till recently, and all that time before that I was just positioning my self as a normal male when deep down I kind of wanted to be female. Like I always said to myself "it's not possible to be a girl, you should just be content as a boy" and that would make me sad sometimes and more so through the years. I mean like in video games I would mostly make female characters because I wanted to be female, so i guess that was kind of a sign possibly... and always imagining myself as a certain girl and realizing how much I would like it... Now that I realized that I am trans kind of I have a want to go out and get girls clothing and express my self as a girl opposed to being like a boy anymore... I don't know if you or anyone else had a similar experience or not, what I mean is like trying to fit in with other males and act like one when deep down you kind of wanted to be a girl but shoved it off until you realized you were trans, agender, genderfluid, etc.
You just essentially described me in a nutshell. I only started seriously questioning my gender several months ago, and before then I did not have any strong or immediate in my mind problems with the gender that I thought I had been up until I started seriously questioning (biologically male, in my and your case), but I can see through hindsight that I always had an underlying problem with my gender and a desire to be female simmering somewhere in me the entire time through actions I took, such as never presenting as male online due to being oddly uncomfortable with or finding it easier to write for female characters, due to it feeling more natural. So yeah, I can see what you mean by that; I felt exactly the same way.
Glad I am not the only one I guess Now all I need to do is express myself as a girl more openly somehow until I can start HRT or something. Scares me to do a lot, not because I do not want to, but because of how society will look at me I guess. At least I figured out the question I have been asking myself "who am I?", which is a great start I suppose, but where to go from here has had me really worried and depressed, like right now I can tolerate being a boy, but want to start transitioning sometime soon...
Figuring out and accepting who you are is a great first step, you've opened up the road and allowed yourself to begin being yourself, it'll be a long road, I know that very well from being in the same place at the beginning of the road as you are, waiting for the chance to begin expressing and presenting myself as the woman I want to be and feel myself to be, but you, me and others will make it; we're strong like that xD
