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Semi-Trans feelings or just normal envy?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by nslove, Aug 20, 2015.

  1. nslove

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    Hi, I joined this forum a few days ago as a result of my spark of interest in the LGBT, specifically transgender, community.

    Obviously I don't mean to sound rude here, but I've honestly been fascinated by the entire transgender phenomenon (probably wrong word.. oh well). I've been watching "I Am Cait", "I Am Jazz", as well as numerous YouTube videos regarding both mtf and ftm transitions.

    Now, I'm probably just curious, but I feel like I might have a slight slight slight bit of trans-ness, if you will, in me.

    I am a straight female, and I'm actually pretty comfortable in my body, but for as long as I could remember, I've envied boys. This is where I get confused. My slight trans-ness isn't related to any dysphoria, it really is just envy.

    I just feel like I would just have it so much easier if I was a guy. For example: no shaving legs/armpits, short hair is the preferable hairstyle according to our society's social standards (meaning hair can look great WITHOUT hours of straightening or curling and styling for it to look good), and even just the ability to write their name in the snow with pee if they so desired. Additionally, guys just aren't judged are harshly and as girls simply because they don't hide their needs, mostly in a sexual sense- It is just accepted amongst our society that men are horny and are allowed to scratch their balls and jack off if they want to because they're guys, and that's it.

    Now, I know guys have it harder in the emotional area, but in the grand scheme of things, they have it much, much easier, IMO.

    So, what I'm really asking is: Am I just jealous of men or do I have a litttleee bit of "trans-ness". This might sound strange, but I'm starting to think that my intense attraction to men might also be a factor. I just love them so much that I want to be them?

    Sorry if my thoughts are scattered and I don't make any sense. This has just been on my mind for the past two weeks. Also it's 2:30am.
     
    #1 nslove, Aug 20, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2015
  2. Acm

    Acm Guest

    To me it sounds more like an envy of guys because of some of the freedoms they get due to their gender role that women don't have (like not having to shave). Not really a trans thing, but it's fairly normal, there's other women who are jealous of that stuff.
     
  3. andimon

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    Yeah, I'm jealous of girls too, they can hook up with guys so much easier. I'm also a bit flamboyant so this "male" thing doesn't help that much. But, again, it's just envy. As long as you feel fine with your own body, I don't think you can be transgender.

    I think what you feel is more of an "I wouldn't mind if I had been born male".


    Pssssst... peeing in the snow ain't that great. You aren't missing much.
     
  4. AlexTheGrey

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    I have to agree. And I sympathize. Pressuring folks to adhere to stereotypes is not productive at all. And I agree that in many ways, men have it easier in western society, especially when it comes to being able to be a productive member of society, and attaining positions of power to drive change within the society.

    But as someone who is perceived as belonging in that box, I've found that the very things that bestow me with that privilege, bind me. Just as women who break out of stereotypes get "corrected", the same happens on the other side. And there are issues that affect men disproportionately, or are underserved for whatever arbitrary reason as well. But if you play by the rules as a male, doors do open.

    I don't say this to try to correct you, but to point out that there is a lot more to it. I know my own form of envy tended to ignore the issues women face in society when I was younger. I'm still envious of the things I'll never have, trans or not. And it isn't the women that stick to the stereotypes that I admire. It's the ones that take some of the feminine, some of the masculine, and create something uniquely them. I totally encourage you to explore you, and to hell with any stereotyping nonsense that may be in the way.

    I know when I'm allowed to be "deviant little me", I'm much happier with myself overall than I've been in years.
     
  5. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I agree, which is why I just said "some of the freedoms" but I should have made myself more clear. I think gender roles are restricting for both men and women, there's some ways that men have it easier, but also ways where women have it easier like showing emotions.

    For people that don't fit into their assigned gender role completely (which is pretty normal), I think it's normal to envy the other gender. Personally I think everyone would be a lot happier if they were free to just be as masculine or feminine as they want without having to try to conform to gender roles. So yeah OP I think those feelings are pretty normal.
     
  6. AlexTheGrey

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    Ack! I wasn't actually trying to respond to you like that. More: I +1 what Acm said, plus here's more food for thought for the OP. Sorry.
     
  7. MetalRice

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    Sounds like general envy to me, and there's nothing wrong with that; through I won't tell you what you are at all; just offering some cents.
     
  8. Acm

    Acm Guest

    Yeah I wasn't sure, sorry for misinterpreting your post :icon_redf
     
  9. Tai

    Tai
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    It sounds like what Max said. Be careful about watching those kinds of shows; the brain is powerful, and if you get too sucked into the show, you may be influenced by it and think you actually are trans. It happens to some people. You sound cis with some male envy to me, although maybe you could think of yourself as a tomboy.