Confused?

A little while ago, I took a quiz that told me my expression was female to male crossdressing. That didn't sit well, and I've been thinking about it a lot.
For the past year, since I found out about binders, I've wanted one. I started developing femininly younger than a lot of kids, and at first, I remember refusing it. I've always disliked having a chest. Sometimes it's more of a numb thing, but sometimes it really bothers me and, just in general, I don't like to think about / acknowledge it. I like brightly coloured t-shirts, but I feel so displayed if they're not boxy, but at the same time, I like athletic fit men's tees. Especially black ones, because I feel more neutral.
Otherwise, I have this weird hate/love relationship with my physical characteristic. I'm comfortable with my body, but sometimes I feel weird about it. I have broad shoulders, and on some days, I like how them and my broad back look, because they make me look stronger, but sometimes I think they're too masculine. I'm starting to wonder if these feelings are dyspohira. I wish my face was more defined, I've always hated my baby face and having people tell me it makes me a pretty girl. I don't like being called a girl, period. Or a lady, really. Young lady irks me. At the same time, though, I like other traits on my face that are feminine. Sometimes I wish I could cut my hair short without it turning into a curly war zone, but a good amount of the time, I like it waist length.
I was girly when I was little, but when I think about it, it was that kind of no options girly, where society kind of forced it on me. As I got older, I felt much more comfortable in neutral clothes, and haven't stopped wearing neutral/masculine clothes since. As well, my toy choice shifted to gender neutral ones. I liked to paint my nails, green then, but I also loved guys hiking boots and wore hand me down jeans from a male family member. Lately, my tastes have gotten more masculine. I want a button up short sleeve, ties, and I'm still deeply upset that my mom didn't let me wear a suit to my graduation.
It makes me feel uncomfortable. I've come out to a friend and my sister as ace and Biromantic. But my mother doesn't think being ace is a thing, she doesn't believe in anything but two binaries and gets frustrated when I call people they. I'm terrified to talk to her, and definitely wouldn't dare to discus something like this, which I'm completely unsure of, with her. And my dad's so homophobic saying lgbt in his presence feels like a safety risk.
I don't know what to think. I identify as female, but it's definitely not offensive to think of being called he either. I don't like they, though, it feels too impersonal a term for me. I just want a binder, and to tuck in my shirt. I need labels, I go nuts without them. I spent years not without a name for my Tourettes and remember being humiliated every time I couldn't explain what was wrong with me. I've developed OCD, I have PTSD, chronic stress so bad I have ulcers already, likely some form of aspurgers, and I don't really want to add to the list of why I'm a walking freakshow but I feel sick without understanding how I'm feeling.