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Close friend told me I'm "Not a girl".

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by MaybeMyGender, Aug 22, 2015.

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  1. MaybeMyGender

    MaybeMyGender
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    Here's a conversation between me and someone who i consider to be a close friend who's helped me through depression. Yet she said this.


    Hey (Her Name), i haven't told alot of people and i kind regret telling the people i have. But i consider you a close friend and kind of wanna tell you to know if you would accept me.
    It's kind of a secret.. And I'm still deciding.

    Okay fire away

    (Her name). I think. I think I'm transgender. I don't know if i wanna be a boy anymore. And i feel like i may be a girl on the inside. Please don't hate me.

    You're not a girl dude. You can't pick and choose what you wanna be.

    That's hurtful.
    It's not a choice. I feel like a girl. I hate my body.

    I'm honest. It's the truth.

    That isn't the truth. Hormones are one thing. Two, alot of people are transgender and i feel like i may be trans. That's like saying gay people don't exist. I mentally feel like i may be a women.

    Tbch I feel like you want that. You don't just think you want. My opinion.

    I'm not even decided on it. But i feel like i may be. If i were to just choose it you could just choose to be a man. But you wouldn't because its not a choice.

    Like that's my opinion. I don't like hate you, just my opinion

    I don't understand your opinion. I'm not picking to be a girl. I feel like i may mentally be a women. Therefore i can't choose to be a women.

    Don't question me Ethan I can get mean fast you know this
     
    #1 MaybeMyGender, Aug 22, 2015
  2. MaybeMyGender

    MaybeMyGender
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    Sorry if i seemed ignorant or offensive in that. I was just upset. But i feel like some of my replys weren't the best.
     
    #2 MaybeMyGender, Aug 22, 2015
  3. randomconnorcon

    randomconnorcon
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    That's just... a horrible thing for her to say to you. Especially that last bit. You don't say that to people when they're struggling and need to talk, no matter what it is, you just don't.

    She may need educating, especially if you wanna keep her as a friend, but maybe give it some time first. Gather your thoughts and plan what you want to say. Don't let her speak until she's heard it all if you can. Questions are fine, but outright dismissal is rude and hurtful and sadly common, so if she still refuses to listen and at least try to understand then you could keep trying. But you may need to consider how close you two really are and how close you should be.

    Just a thought. I'm sorry you went through that, I know it sucks.
     
    #3 randomconnorcon, Aug 22, 2015
  4. Matto_Corvo

    Matto_Corvo
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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I get confused when people say you're not something you just want to be that something. Well, yeah, I just said I wanted to be that. I don't want to be transgender, I am transgender, there I want to be that gender aka am that gender.

    Sometimes people close to us have a hard time seeing our true gender because they are so use to seeing us as the opposite gender. Its not in till they see us changing into our true gender that they start realizing we really are who we say we are
     
    #4 Matto_Corvo, Aug 22, 2015
  5. MetalRice

    MetalRice
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    Wow, that's terrible, it's wrong of her to say that; very wrong.
     
    #5 MetalRice, Aug 22, 2015
  6. HopefulRebecca

    HopefulRebecca
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    That's absolutely terrible and wrong. You're more of a woman than she'll ever be.
     
    #6 HopefulRebecca, Aug 22, 2015
  7. Momosboy

    Momosboy
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    Well, I can honestly say if they say that, two possibilities are available to you. A) They're not ready to accept it yet, so give them a bit of time to process it. B) They are not really your friend. I'm sorry, but it seems like those are your only options
     
    #7 Momosboy, Aug 22, 2015
  8. Nick07

    Nick07
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    Hi,
    I don't think her reaction was horrible. I dare to guess that she had never heard about trans*. Accepting the fact that sex is not the same thing as gender seems to be difficult for a lot of people. Try to give her some reading material or more information.
    If she had been your good friend to the day it would be pity to lose her because of something she doesn't understand.
     
    #8 Nick07, Aug 23, 2015
  9. FootballFan101

    FootballFan101
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    F*** thats bad
     
    #9 FootballFan101, Aug 23, 2015
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