Hi, i have this problem for quite a while now. The thing is, i am not entirely sure about my gender. Physically i am a girl but i don't exactly feel like one. Then again, i don't think i feel like a guy either, altough i very often wish i were born a boy..(thinking about it every day actually). When someone calls me a girl or a woman or when i am supposed to fill in my gender somewhere, i feel very uncomfortable and embarassed. The same happens also when guys tell me how pretty or cute i am or act like "gentlemen" towards me. Then i usually get really angry and sad about the whole thing and myself,too. I feel very weird about my genitals and when i have that shit called periods i hate myself even more. One day i think i would like to have a child but just thinking about pregnancy (my own, omg) makes me sick. Also the fact that i am supposed to be the passive one in a relationship and all that (i actually don't support these gender roles, but you know what society is like) makes me feel pissed again and hideous and sick. And anyway, with those roles, i'm sure i would be more comfortable with the male one, in all aspects. I actually like men, but i think i am not one hundred percent straight. Tbh, i don't generally care about what gender someone is, if i like them or not, i don't make much differences between men and women. So tell me, is there some term for what i described or should i just accept myself without putting myself to any boxes with labels? I must say i would like to know what this all means, though. And is it possible for people like me actually find a partner? Because i don't know who wouldn't mind all this confusion and would accept me just for who i am (which i honestly don't know myself just now....)
You could just call yourself non-binary. Or transmasc if you feel more like a guy. Not all transmasculine people feel like guys. Think about how you want to be biologically, and who you want to be socially.
You don't sound female in gender, you seem to be leaning more the other way. If you want a label t this moment, as you aren't certain I would say genderqueer or maybe a demiboy, possibly male at a stretch. It is fine to not label yourself if you don't want a label just do what makes you feel comfortable! But only you can find out, just keep feeling~ The way you say you don't care about someone's gender, makes you sound pansexual in all honesty~ It is totally possible for you to find a partner! There will also be someone who can accept you for who you really are! Sorry I'm not much help, good luck ---------- Post added 24th Aug 2015 at 11:28 PM ---------- Actually this is a totally better answer than mine XD ^
Ah! I'm so the same when it comes to guys being gentlemanly towards me. I'm like "bitch i can do that myself!" It feels so weird. like my husband is super romantic, touchy feely and im like "Ew gross". effin pisses me off. oh and ive had children and I hated pregnancy. you know how some women love pregnancy and have that glow and act like its the best time of their lives? no. not me. I love my children but i hated pregnancy. my first one i wasnt sick and i hated it. my second one i was sick and i hated it. it made me feel weird, even tho i loved my babies. sometimes it felt like they didnt belong. and i still did my usual things (like working on cars and heavy lifting... oops) until it dawned on me that i might hurt the baby. so i am totally with you.
