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Misgendered someone accidentally.....

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by RavenTheRat, Aug 24, 2015.

  1. RavenTheRat

    Regular Member

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    Hi guys :slight_smile:
    So...... I met this AWESOME person today in theatre. They're genderfluid, and guess what- they go by Alex, just like me!

    But..... we we're doing one of those first day of class activities where you talk to someone and share what you learned. But......

    When I was sharing, I got nervous and called them "she" instead of they.

    I feel AWFUL. Like, this has been hounding me all day. It's 10:00 PM now..........

    I'm just worried they won't want to be friends with me anymore :frowning2:

    See, I wouldn't be upset except A) I go by they/them pronouns myself, and B) They got my pronouns right.

    Should I feel as guilty as I do?
     
  2. BradThePug

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    It's something that happens to all of us sometimes. The best thing that you can do is just apologize to them, and see how things go from there.
     
  3. Acm

    Acm Guest

    You could just tell them tomorrow that it was an accident and you're sorry. No need to beat yourself up about it, it's an understandable thing to do.
     
  4. ScaryClosets

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    Nah man, don't worry about it. They most likely get that a lot. Plus, sometimes it just slips up, because we're all still stuck in that binary zone. They probably won't mind, okay? It's normal to feel guilty, because all of us do it some time in our lives. You just have to stop over thinking about it, okay? And since you got nervous, you blanked out. everyone blanks out and forgets the right answer. It's no big deal, it's like forgetting an answer to a test even though you knew it. There is nothing to worry about, I promise you. *Pats* It's alright!
     
  5. RavenTheRat

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    Thank you to all of you guys <3
    I did already apologize, and they said it was fine, but yaknow, I still felt bad........ glad it's not as big a deal as I thought. Thank you so much! <3
     
    #5 RavenTheRat, Aug 24, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2015
  6. Lazuri

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    Yeah, just apologize. I misgender people all the time because of associations in my brain that I haven't been able to change yet. If I hear a male voice, I will say "he" automatically if I don't stop and think first.
     
  7. Oddsocks

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    Yeah, slip-ups happen, especially when it comes to neutral pronouns because often you're accustomed to using binary pronouns for most people in your life. And let's face it, we've all fudged a pronoun even when talking about a cis person (I have no idea why, but with one of my friends I went through a patch of accidentally calling him 'she' occasionally - he's a cis and not even particularly feminine guy!).

    As long as you correct yourself and offer a brief apology, you're all good. Pronoun slip-ups happen to the best of us and most people are gonna understand that if you correct yourself. :slight_smile: