Hi all! When I was a teenager, I suppose I was relatively feminine for a dude, but I never considered myself to have gender struggles. I would enjoy having my hair long and think about dressing as a girl "occasionally" but it was never relevant enough to interfere with my life. Flash forward to about 22 years old and the issues got more concerning. Fantasies of wearing girl's clothes started to increase to being fairly common...but still pretty manageable. Now I'm roughly 25 and it's gotten to be even more of an issue. I wake up every morning wishing I was a girl now....imagining myself wearing not only sorta feminine clothing but envisioning myself completely female- dress/skirt, heels, purse, make up, etc. It's becoming super frustrating for me. I'm sad because I have no idea if I should act upon this at all or not...and I just don't have the heart to tell anyone, I'm too scared. I can sort of pass as a woman when I have the ability to dress up but I'm nervous that more masculine features will appear in my late 20s. Obviously, undergoing transition is an extraordinarily serious affair. I just don't think I'd want that. Any advice would be super appreciated.
Just because you didn't have gender struggles all your life doesn't mean any you have now aren't valid. Try imagining how you'd feel if everyone saw you as woman. That's part of how I figured myself out. Also one of the questions that I felt was a big clue to my true gender was when people used to ask kids "If you got to pick, would you choose to be born a boy or a girl?" (Although you should note that trans boys are indeed born male and trans girls are born female, it's just that they were assigned the wrong gender)
Try to figure it out now! Don't get me wrong, take all the time you need to find your answers, it's truly a very important and life changing decision if you decide to transition. But if you try to evade, deny and negate your feelings (like I did) they will not go away and you will have to face them later in life with most likely more severe consequences. (Family, Kids, Testosteron altering you body). Find a gender therapist and start exploring. I can tell you from my experience that this can be an eye opener. Feel free to get in touch by posting on my wall.
The answers are mixed regarding if I believe I'd be happier born a boy or a girl, but I feel like oftentimes- I say I wish I was a girl now. I really would enjoy being treated like a lady! I can always wait on family/kids. What I'm most concerned about is how much will testosterone alter my body at this stage in life? I'm hoping I don't look much more masculine than I currently do...yet I also don't want to make any impulsive decisions.
I'm not an expert on the effects of testosterone after puberty, but I doubt there will be drastic changes in your mid twenties. I agree that seeking a gender therapist would be helpful. Googling is the best way to find more info on that. I don't have much to add. Wish you good luck!
