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Why now? Is this even real?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Neb, Sep 3, 2015.

  1. Neb

    Neb
    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
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    I've accepted myself as simply male most of my life. It wasn't difficult to, since I generally found "boy" activities to be more fun and "boy" clothes to be more practical, which suited me fine. For the most part, I kept within what was expected of males. Well, I secretly wore some of my mum's clothes once or twice in my teens; had a few exploratory same-sex experiences; liked the Spice Girls more than I cared to admit; and cried at the end of Titanic, but apart form that I didn't show any particularly feminine traits, nor gave much thought to my gender at all. For the first two decades of my life, I had precious little exposure to gender transgression, let alone first-hand.

    Then my twenties and broadband internet came, along with a wider view of the world, but even though that brought a fascination with a sex-swapping hentai games :icon_redf, transgendered acquaintances, bi-curiosity and an appreciation for earrings and dresses, I still felt had no inclination to step out of the male box that had been carved out for me.

    I didn't grow up feeling uncomfortable in my body and my role, like the typical transgender narrative seems to go, so why on earth is it now that I'm fully into my thirties that I'm experiencing, at times, what could be gender dysphoria? Why is it only now that I'm getting strong enough urges to buy and wear female clothes and make-up, to shave my body hair and wish for breasts and a feminine voice?

    I am used to feeling male, even though I don't always want to do so. Sometimes I feel feminine, but I don't even know if this is how a woman is supposed to feel. I find the idea of being and passing as a woman so exhilarating, yet I don't really want to abandon my manhood for good... Am I "just" a cross-dresser? Have I somehow ended up deluding myself? Are there any others who have felt similarly at my age? I'd love to hear from you.
     
  2. rolling orange

    Regular Member

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    Now i'm about ten years younger than you, but I never "felt" male while growing up, I was comfortable being a girl until my late teens when I started questioning my gender. That is also considered late by many people. (I am 21 now). It seems like it takes longer for some people before it clicks and it feels like it comes right out of the blue. My guess is that in most cases it's been luring under the surface for much longer and just didn't show until you're older, while being more exposed to the idea of being trans. Idk that's what it feels like to me at least.
     
  3. FootballFan101

    Full Member

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    Look back in your life and look to see if you ever felt more feminine