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What's the difference between knowing and being sure?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by xCharcoalx, Sep 9, 2015.

  1. xCharcoalx

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Queensland
    Gender:
    Female
    I've reached a point where I'm not sure when to proceed or whether to go ahead with transition or not.

    Background:

    I'm AFAB. Probably the usual story in most ways. Since I was extremely young I always did stereotypically masculine things and dressed that way without thinking about it whenever possible. The only way my story differs is that in my case, my parents were abusive as hell (in many ways outside of just this) and often tried to beat it out of me. While that never worked, their constant gaslighting and forcing me to conform much of the time while entirely denying who I was even down to simple thing like my favourite colour or activities was taken to a whole new level. That's never stopped to this day.

    Over the last two months I've moved pretty quickly. I've been to see a GP who specialises in trans health and I've been to see a gender therapist. I'm at the point now where I need to make a decision about transition. I'm not overtly worried about it, a little nervous, a little scared, a lot excited, what my therapist says is a healthy reaction. The only thing that's bugging me and has been for weeks is basically the same question: how can I be absolutely 100% sure I'm definitely trans? I'm pretty sure why that question is coming up is due to my parents constantly telling me I had to be a girl when I was younger and forcing me into it in any way they could. But I also feel it's a serious question with long standing consequences in its own right.

    So with all that over with, is there any way to know with 100% certainty that you're definitely trans?
     
  2. MetalRice

    Full Member

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    Well, in my own personal case, I 100% knew for sure that I was trans when the questioning didn't stop, when the feelings of dysphoria socially and physically didn't subside, when I realized the thought of living the rest of my life as male saddened and angered me, it was alot of things that added up.

    For you, I would say that you need to examine your feelings closely, that's all I can really say.
     
  3. Eveline

    Full Member

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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I think it comes with acceptance of yourself and who you are. Think of it like a brick wall, every doubt and fear that you conquer is a brick that you removed from the wall that is holding you back. Eventually you will remove so many bricks that the wall will collapse and at that point you will know for sure that you are transgender. This has nothing to do with anyone else but yourself and it is a normal obsticle that we all must face along the journey to becoming who we really are inside.

    Much hugs,

    (*hug*)

    Yael
     
    #3 Eveline, Sep 9, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2015
  4. Linus

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Chicago Area
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You know when you decide, and you decide when you know. So if you're like, 98-99% sure, then decide, and then you'll be 100% sure. It's the decision that makes it.