So for a few months now I've been having phases of not feeling fully male, but definitely not female either. I certainly feel agender matches the feeling but I'm not sure what it makes me now. I still like male pronouns, my masculine name and want to be viewed as male. I just feel like sometimes I'm nothing, which can be confusing. I do think part of it is the societal expectations of being male, some of which I don't really meet being mostly androgynous personality wise. I have had weird moments of missing make-up, which really threw me, cause I used to hate it. Admittedly this is only in terms of wanting to go a bit crazy goth-wise which I haven't done since I was 17/18. I don't know if it's more a nostalgia thing and I know there's nothing wrong with a guy wearing make-up, but I imagine my dad would give me a lot of crap for it if I were to try. It's hard enough getting him to not call surgery 'self-mutilation'. I'm just generally annoyed about it. Being a transguy is complicated enough and now sometimes I'm neither. I think this is something I'd only share with my partner/close friends to be honest. I still want testosterone and chest surgery definitely. This was really just a rant I guess. Does anyone else get similar feelings of being agender but still feeling certain overall of being male/female? does this mean I'm technically genderqueer? I'm not sure what term I'm meant to use here.
Just gonna go out on a limb and say there are times when most people feel like they don't have a gender but still identify as male/female/something else. I know on days I feel stressed out about if I will actually be a decent passing man or not my mind kind of turns off and I start feeling no gender at all. In fact I identified as masculine agender for a while Don't know if that helps any
I think you could definitely be transmasculine and agender. Transmasculine just really means your transitioning to become masculine, any other parts of your identity can easily fit into that. For example, I identify as a non-binary trans girl. Which seems contradictory , since "girl" is a part of the binary. But I am female in a way that is not set in the binary structure of female. My gender exists beyond the concept of the gender binary. Also, goth makeup is great! Maybe its because I'm goth but.....
I used to identify as transmasculine agender before realising I was just a trans guy, but that's just me. There doesn't have to be a strong masculine feeling all the time to make someone male. And guys can like make-up too. If you still want to physically transition as male and be seen as male in society then I think you can still call yourself a trans guy, but it's really up to you what to call yourself.
I know exactly what you mean. I identify as transmasculine and agender. I don't feel like a man and even describing myself as a boy isn't easy, it just doesn't feel 100% right. Same with agender. It took me quite a while with pronouns, because I don't feel really comfortable with he/him, it's sometimes just too much. They/them is okay but it's somehow not satisfying, I feel like something's missing. In my mother language there are no gender neutral pronouns anyway and since I actually want to live as a male I'll have to get used to he/him pronouns I guess. Sometimes I wonder how that's even possible but well, it just is like it is. I often wish I could just be ftm. Or that gender didn't exist.
I identified as neutrois-transmasculine genderfluid for a while for the same reasons. Then I simplified it to just transmasculine, and now I've realized I'm just and effeminate/gender-neutral guy. Most cis guys don't have a constant feeling of being "male" either. It's just a none-issue. Some cis guys even enjoy being effeminate or very gender-neutral from time to time. Doesn't make them less of a guy, and it doesn't make me less of a guy either. Pick whatever label makes you comfortable, and don't feel like you need to stick with the same label forever.
I'm most of the time without a connection to any gender, in my case, it is simply a symptom of the disconnect that gender dysphoria causes. Gender dysphoria slowly breaks apart any identity that I start to establish, to feel that you are of a certain gender it needs to be ingrained in our identities and gender dysphoria doesn't let it happen as it is a form of trauma. Part of the objective of transitioning is to construct a stable female or male identity...
I think you're conflating gender with gender roles. Just consider how you want to be biologically and socially.
Labels are a weird thing. I definitely relate, not so much to being agender, but man+other. There's so many ways to define that too. You could say transman, transmasculine, agender, bigender (man & agender), demiboy, genderfluid, genderqueer, etc. etc. Gender is generally fluid too. And social roles just complicate the whole freaking thing. I wouldn't worry too much about the exact term, just as long as you're comfortable.
