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My fears on gender? :(

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by MidnightStar, Sep 13, 2015.

  1. MidnightStar

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    I'm having a hard time with my life at the moment i was told i can finally get a binder the number one thing deep down inside iv'e always wanted. However at the very same time i fear everything going wrong what if my inner feelings of what i'm wanting isn't correct? Or my worse fear doesn't even have to really do with what if i'm wrong now it's more what if i love the feeling of being flat chested so much that i end up damaging my body and hating myself after?

    Everyone is correct, i could use it for only a day but what if i enjoy the feeling so much i don't want to ever stop? but i don't want to slowly destroy my body either! Sure i prefer to feel masculine and inside i am masculine i have a feminine side even but the feminine side is not very strong. I love my female looking body there is only one thing wrong and it shouldn't exist but what if i fuck up that one thing? Or what if that one thing as in my chest, well what if i use the binder so much that eventually i want more? What i start making myself crazy and this feeling is all something i created.....what i'm deciding even if it's smaller then what some people decide to do it still is a risk and i'm scared.

    I tried to reach out to a LGBTQ group in my area but i didn't talk and i got really nervous i don't think i related to anyone either so it became strange and made me feel unknown/out of place. So i don't even know if i want to go back to the one thing that could have gave me friends like me and helped me out.
    I feel alone and there are very many days i am alone
     
  2. levi2000

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    You're not alone! There are lots of genderfluid people who experience the same thing you're feeling now.
    My advice to you is just try and do what makes you comfortable now. If wearing a binder would make you happy today, then wear a binder. Don't worry about how you will feel in the future until it actually happens.
     
  3. Oddsocks

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    Yeah, I'm with levi2000 here - do what you want to do. Bind safely (with a proper binder that fits you, for no more than 8 hours at a time, and don't bind during strenuous activity) and you will be okay. If it makes you feel better about your body, don't over-think it.

    I do understand the feelings you're experiencing - I went through a similar period of doubt over the past couple of months ("what if I'm just making myself feel this way, what if the more I bind the weirder I'll feel about my chest, what if I end up convincing myself I want top surgery" etc) that I'm still shaking off. But what I've settled on, and what I think you could do with settling on, is doing whatever feels right and comfortable at the moment.

    Take it a day at a time. You'll be okay. :slight_smile: