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Advice on gender fluidity

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Rie, Sep 15, 2015.

  1. Rie

    Rie
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    I think I may be gender fluid and I'm trying to experiment with it. But, I'm really afraid of being gender fluid. I don't know what people will think of me if sometimes I'm feeling more feminine and I wear dresses and stuff, and then other times I feel more masculine and choose to look like a guy. I'm afraid people will ask my gender, and if I say I'm gender fluid, no one will understand. I don't want to explain the whole thing to everyone, and I know most people won't understand even if I do explain it. But I've been getting more and more dysphoric lately, but I'm just really afraid of people judging me. Does anyone have any advice and/or personal stories that are similar?
     
  2. Taramil

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    Hi Rie!

    I am a MtF transsexual and I had a similar problem when I first started dressing up femininely in public. I would sometimes get stares, but from my experience, most of the stares will only come if you are not confident in what you are wearing and how you look. Who cares what other people think if it makes you happy. They don't have to look you the entire day, you do. Your opinion matters more in this situation than theirs does. Be confident and proud in who you are. Dress how you want to.

    With love,
    Taramil
     
  3. I AM MEOW

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    If I were genderfluid (this may not be true as I am not genderfluid) I would probably say something to confuse them more, or something like "it's all part of the mystery!" Or maybe just not answer when they ask, or just say "I am female" and then when you are dressed more like a guy and they're like "I thought you were a girl" be like "well, today I'm a guy" although the back and forth about "today I'm a girl" and "well, now I'm guy" and the confusion that would cause is (probably) what your concerned about...
     
  4. Oddsocks

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    As someone who came out as genderqueer/genderfluid way back when I was at school and in college, I can say this - a lot of people were pretty baffled by the concept, but I was surprised by how many of the baffled people weren't dicks about it. Of course, it depends on your area - only tell people if you feel safe. But if you're in an area where the climate towards LGBT folks is fairly neutral, you might be surprised.

    Did I get a lot of really awkward questions? Definitely. But I've always kind of enjoyed having opportunities to teach, I guess. Did I get people speculating loudly about my gender just within earshot at college? On occasion. (My go-to was generally to address them directly with something like, "Yeah, I wonder about that myself sometimes!" or "You know, I get that a lot." It seems like they were never quite expecting me to answer them!)

    It all depends on how much you're comfortable disclosing. Are you out to any friends? I don't tend to disclose my gender status to the outside world much offline, and I think if I wasn't out to anyone that would be really uncomfortable to me. But all my close friends know and are very supportive, and that helps a lot.
     
  5. SnowshoeGeek

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    Hi,

    I am new to the terminology, but "genderfluid" sounds like something I could wrap my brain around. I like to occasionally wear men's clothing. For the year after my father died, I exclusively wore his shirts, but that might have been more of a remembrance thing. Yet it never bothered me and I actually felt much more comfortable in men's shirts. Still do. Lately I want to buy them, in fact. That's something I will be pondering now. I just wasn't raised to be terribly female or male, just human, so the whole idea of gender feels weird to me. I will say that I love wearing dresses sometimes because I feel like i am dressing up in drag. But, I guess I "pass" because I'm female? I think if I'd been raised in a "girly" way I might have seriously rebelled. I may have been fortunate that gender wasn't drilled into me.

    For me, not paying attention to gender is like not paying attention to eye color or hair color or skin color. I recognize that there are biological and maybe psychological differences... but I try to see people not genders. I only wish the rest of the world felt that way...

    Keep asking questions! Great place here. :slight_smile: (*hug*)