Some context first. I'm a transgendered female and haven't done much of anything about it, although I've suspected for a few years and known for sure for a little while. I haven't had a life for 3 of those years, and recently just started going to programming school. And ever since I started, my feelings of wanting to be a woman have increased heavily. I'm scared to transition though, because it's a drastic change and I'm not a person that pursues alterations like that, at all. I keep imagining scenarios where I don't transition and continue trying to start a life, and even though though I'm enjoying programming and feel like I can make it in that field, I don't think I'll ever be able to be happy as a man. My big fear though is if I'll be able to accept myself aesthetically. I'm perfectly fine with not being an eye-poppingly beautiful woman, but given my body type I'm very uncertain that I'll ever see myself as a woman regardless of how I go about it. So I'd really like to hear from other transgendered women that have transitioned/are still transitioning about their confrontations with this. Thanks.
Well, I think part of this is because society puts such a big emphasis on passing when talking about trans people. For me, it's never been an issue of whether or not I pass. It's about whether or not I feel myself. If I'm as feminine as I can be in my body, then that's when I'll be content. I'm kind of... bulky? I guess? And I'm pretty tall too. But that's never held me back from doing anything. I think what I'd like to say is this. You can spend th rest of your life miserable in your body thinking you'll never pass eve if you try, or you could actually try. I know it's scary but the firs step always is. Anyways, good luck! I'm rooting for you. ^_^
This pretty much sums it up, I'm in the same position you are and I've just started going about working up to transitioning.what I did is after coming out to a few people that I trust is I went to see a counselor (today) and I'm getting some professional help on how to go about it and become me. Idk if this is how other people did it, and i'm always open to advise if anyone has any. hope i helped
I like that. Even if I never reach the kind of body I wish for, if the effort's put in, then I'll still be happy with the body I worked on. Or something like that. That makes me feel a shade better. Only thing I can think of that would ruin that is if I'm too judgmental of my appearance, which is a possibility. I've been pointing out every flaw in my character for about a decade (and I mean every one), relentlessly debasing myself over them. Granted they're mostly over behavioral traits and not physical looks, and part of it may be my dysphoria... idk where I was going with that. How tall are you by the way? Then you're a step ahead of me. Maybe even five steps. I hope it works out well, and that I catch up eventually :icon_bigg. Also, I perused your posts and saw the one about your girlfriend accepting you after coming out. That really made me happy. Please make sure she knows how supremely cool she is.
I used to be pretty judgmental toward myself (especially my looks) but, and I promise you this, it really does get better. Through help and time, it gets better. It just kind of clicked to me one day last summer that I don't have to beat myself up because I'm not perfect. I have my flaws, but I have my strengths too. I think and sincerely hope that'll it'll click for you too ^_^ Oh, and I'm six feet exact.
