So I have been out of the closet as gay for a while. I know gender, sex, and sexual orientation are completely different but I now consider myself genderqueer. My real name is Benjaminh, but I hate how there is the extra H. The H comes from my asian name Minh Hoa, but it keep reminding me about my adoption. I want to go by "Tori" and my parents don't approve of the name or my pronouns (I want to use neutral pronouns. Ex: Them, they). Any advice people? I am 13, and I really want to figure out what I should do.:eusa_doh:
Do what makes you happy regardless of your parents' wishes. This is your life and you must make yourself happy before anyone else.
I think the best thing to do right now would be to sit down with your parents and talk it through, properly. As you are still pretty young, what your parents think will definitely have an impact on you, which is why you should take the opportunity to try and talk them 'round. You could ask them if you could just talk about it, get all of your worries and questions out of the way and determine the next step. If they see things your way, then that's great. If not, then it's not the end of the world. You can still ask your friends and everyone else to use your preffered pronouns, and you are still who you are. Maybe your parents will come around with time, maybe not, but whatever happens, do not let them stop you from being you. I know it's hard to go against your parents, especially when you want to make them proud, but trust me, it is far more painful to pretend to be someone else. You can make your parents proud as the person you are, even if they don't see it right now. Our parents grew up in a different world to us, so this is all a little new to them, but that doesn't mean that they will never understand it, they just need a push in the right direction. Good luck I hope everything works out well
