Maybe I was a little too transgendery today

Jeez did she make itseem she was confused about the halloween jeff thing because its halloween your not really the character you dress up as so why does it matter if you dressed as Jeff maybe thats what you need to tell her if she ever brings it up

 

At least your mom celebrates Halloween, my dad forbids it. And forced me to have a purple room and play with Barbie's.

I see where the "oh shit" feeling come from. Feeling like you're about to be pulled from the closet can be terrifying.

Being trans is not your fault, it's not one's fault. Its no different than being intersexed. Its just a natural part of nature.

 

Wow, how uptight. Don't feel bad about being trans, it's just who you are. I know how terrifying the thought of being torn from the closet can be. (*hug*)

 

I can feel where you're coming from, I went through a situation a lot like this when I still lived with my parents and I was 16. My mom figured out I didn't really care about the gender of a person I wanted to date (while I prefer guys sexually, I won't throw out a girl if I am romantically in love with her). She started prying if I wanted to be a guy and I stopped that train in its tracks. I didn't realize I was trans at the time, but the question punched hard into my gut thinking it was possibly true. It's a terrifying feeling to have (being outed/almost being outed), and if your mom is anything like mine, she might try to guilt you and make you feel terrible for simply being who you are. If it comes to being outed, it's going to feel like the end of the world. But I promise you, it's not! It's a matter of waiting. Before you know it, that time will have flown by and you will be looking back during a better time in your life laughing at yourself.

You just have to remember that you are who you are, and as long as you accept and love yourself, that's all that matters! I'm still not out to my parents, and I have also considered just moving far away and never telling them so many times. But I realized, it's better to wait until you're finally feeling comfortable and stable in your life and where you're heading, be sure that this IS you and that you are happy with it before coming out. That way if you lose your family, at least you know you did it being true to yourself. And if you don't lose your family? You still have them, you don't have to hide who you are around them, and you can let them see how much happier you are truly being you! Also, I promise you plenty of people will still love and care about you for who you are and as you are! Don't be afraid about finding a significant other, it's really not much more difficult than finding a significant other as a cis-gender individual c:

All in all I hope this helps, I know it's a terrifying thought to lose the love of your family, but by the sounds of it (and as much of a guilt-trip it sounds like your mom has already thrown), I don't think that she would stop loving you. If you have felt this way this strongly for a while and you don't want to keep up the lies, try putting a foot out of the closet. If you're unsure and want to wait it out, there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make your identity less valid to ensure your safety, sanity, and happiness before making a big step like coming out.