1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Not physically transitioning does not make me less of a man

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by middleageguy, Sep 29, 2015.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. middleageguy

    middleageguy
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2015
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    I am a man. I will never be a biological male. I see these as different things. Being a man for me comes from a deep knowing within me. From childhood I have never "felt" like a girl. I tried to fit in. As child in the 70's transgender was not a word. It was called a phase. I was a "tomboy". I never related to anything girly. I did not have friends that were girls.
    I hated the clothes I had to wear. Ick!
    Life was not about me being me but what other people wanted me to be. I felt guilty and depressed. My self worth for decades was very low. I was surviving not living.
    Now I know I have a choice.
    I will be a man with breasts and a vagina. Thats who I am. I am also I mother. I am very proud of that.
    No one has a right to tell me who I am
    I feel like a man. I know I am a man.
     
    #1 middleageguy, Sep 29, 2015
  2. BrokenRecord

    BrokenRecord Guest

    That's the spirit! Take control of your life and never let anyone say you can't be what you want to be. Sometimes I wish the world was populated with more people with that same mindset. People today just don't want to stand up for themselves as much anymore, at least in the circles I've been in. It's nice to see that people like you are still around to tear down the walls of society's views on what's supposed to be. That's one of the main reasons I love this community so much. :icon_bigg
     
    #2 BrokenRecord, Sep 29, 2015
  3. Eveline

    Eveline
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2015
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    home
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm glad that you can find peace of mind without needing to transition. We define who we are and sometimes all that matters is being confident enough to say that you are a man and actually meaning it! People often make the mistake of ignoring the psychological part of transitioning, if you don't accept yourself for who you are, even if you pass perfectly, you will still never really find peace of mind. You will always see those tiny signs that make you feel like you don't really pass...

    (*hug*)
     
    #3 Eveline, Sep 29, 2015
  4. middleageguy

    middleageguy
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2015
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    BrokenRecord:Thank you' (*hug*)
    Yaeli- I accept myself but I still have moments of sadness. I recently looked at a picture of myself and I liked it. This is new for me so I know I am on the right path. (*hug*)
     
    #4 middleageguy, Sep 30, 2015
  5. UniqueJourney

    UniqueJourney
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Midwest USA
    This is an inspiring perspective. And it resonates.

    Most of my life has been lived this way also.

    I greatly admire your strength and perspective. I too am a mother, and have just survived for most of my life. Now I want to LIVE.

    I am still figuring out exactly how my gender feels inside (it slides on a spectrum). But I'm coming to realize that being comfortable with myself, loving myself, on the inside is much more important than the outward.

    Thank you so much for sharing!!
     
    #5 UniqueJourney, Sep 30, 2015
  6. Nick07

    Nick07
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,637
    Likes Received:
    0
    I wish you strength and open-minded people around.
     
    #6 Nick07, Sep 30, 2015
  7. Kasey

    Kasey
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,385
    Likes Received:
    162
    Location:
    The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I haven't started hormones or had any alterations yet.

    Look at me. I appear feminine and behave feminine. I'm a woman despite XY genetics.

    Right now it's socially transitioning for me.

    Do what makes you happy. Thats all that matters. There is no "transgender exam" you need to pass.
     
    #7 Kasey, Sep 30, 2015
  8. middleageguy

    middleageguy
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2015
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Thank you all for your support!(&&&)
     
    #8 middleageguy, Sep 30, 2015
  9. Posthuman666

    Posthuman666
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    626
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    America
    Yes. Awesome man. Its really great once you realize that.
     
    #9 Posthuman666, Sep 30, 2015
  10. thepandaboss

    thepandaboss
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2015
    Messages:
    2,436
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Oregon
    That's my case right now. I mean, granted, I'm young. I'm pre-T, pre/non-surgery, and only just starting to legally change stuff.

    But we are who we are. And surgery/hormone status should not be a barrier to being respected as the genders we know ourselves to be. Thanks for sharing your story and welcome to EC.
     
    #10 thepandaboss, Sep 30, 2015
  11. middleageguy

    middleageguy
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2015
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Ok I'm a bit lazy on starting a new thread...
    I bought a pair of mens shoes Friday night. Not my usual running shoes or hikers in men's sizes which are more androgynous. mens shoes. Got them home and wore them around the house as suggested. Feet ached. Packed them up to return them but I just couldn't. It made me sad. I know Its not about the shoes. Almost 50. Semi menopausal. I want to keep my breasts but have given a lot of thought to hormones to transition FTM before deciding against them. At my age the health risks are much greater.
    I think its time to tell my Dr. Maybe my research is not totally accurate.
     
    #11 middleageguy, Oct 4, 2015
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)