I tried on my partner's dress today, the second I looked in the mirror I almost lost it. I looked so ugly-as a boy I'm attractive and I have the frame of a boy and stubble looks good on me. My body is the antecedent of femininity. Yeah yeah woman/=/feminine but when I'm a woman I'm feminine and girly and I looked in the mirror and what I saw was hideous, disgusting, a horrific creature like Frankenstein's monster-who I relate to a lot coincidentally-and I just really want to go cry because I know I'll never be a real woman; I'm just doomed to be a freak, an ugly male freak who all the parents tell their kids to stay away from; the house the neighborhood kids egg every other month; forced to join a carnival so I can at least make a living from my misery-like any person would hire something like me anyway.
