But I hate being a boy. I get this knot in my stomach anytime I get called by a male pronoun or by my name. I don't like non-unisex clothes and I have hobbies of both sexes. My issue is that some days I just don't feel like a girl. When I get called by a girl name or a feminine pronoun I have no anxiety or upset in my tummy. However most days I just feel not girly. I know that I am against my assigned gender, but some days it is not as bad as others and sometimes I even identify as a man (even if I don't like it all the time). But as the title suggests, my biggest confusion I with the fact that I just don't feel... like a girl. I love the idea and I wish I could just *snap* be seen as a woman, but I don't fully understand the idea of that being my identity. I should say that I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder which makes my identity a little hard to FIND or REALIZE but. It's like in my head I have images of my personality that are often girls and boys, the boys are traits I dislike and the girls are traits that empower or delight me. I guess I wonder if I'm the only one who just doesn't FEEL like their preferred gender. does anyone else for instance feel less like their gender when they can't dress like it or be treated like it?
There are other genders to consider. Agender, for one thing. Or, if you're not sure, look into some options on the Genderqueer spectrum. You don't have to be a boy or a girl. You could just choose not to identify. Gender neutral pronouns include: They them theirs, Zi Zim Zers,(I think?) or Xi Xim Xers(I think?) so go by those if you wish.
Well is it likely or possible to just not feel much like a girl because I don't get treated like one or is that unlikely? I guess I've looked into a lot of them but none fit very well.
I think a lot of the time I don't feel like a guy but I want a male body, I want to be called by a guy's name, and I want people to use he/him pronouns for me, so what's the point in saying I'm not a guy? I think a lot of cis people don't really feel their gender; they're cis because they don't feel dysphoric about it, and it doesn't feel wrong, even if it doesn't feel strongly right. I don't see why trans people can't be the same. If you feel dysphoric as a man, but you're comfortable as a woman, there's no reason not to call yourself a woman, even if you don't strongly feel like one.
That. Is. A very useful thought to me. Thank you for that! I always kinda told people I'm more like a Tom boy. But I never get a chance to be a real girl. Which makes me feel like not much of anything. And that thought really helps put it in a different perspective...
