Hi, To start off I'm a 22 year old male, who identifies as gay but I'm still in the closet. I think I have depression but have never been properly diagnosed. However, I have been doubting myself for a while and I really don't know who I am. I've wondered for a while about being trans but I'm really not sure if I am, so if anyone could help that would be great. Why I think I might be is that I like female characters better on tv, and can relate to them more. However, I know gay guys also relate well to females. On the very odd occasion I have also thought about what it might be like to wear girl's clothes but I never act on it. Why I think that I might not be is that I like the look of myself as a guy, I go to the gym and lift weights. I also don't like the idea of having female bits at all, I've tried to imagine myself with them but cannot. I think a lot about whether I am gay/trans etc and it does my head in. I really want to know one way or the other and move on with life. If you need any more info, I will provide but I'm just glad to get this off my chest for now. Ideally I'd like to get rid of these OCD thoughts and move on with life. Thank you
Hey :smilewave This probably isn't the answer you want to hear (I'm sorry ^^) but only you can really know for sure. To me, you don't sound trans and I'm assuming you mean MtF not non-binary? I'll give my opinion on what you've posted: *Liking female characters doesn't mean anything however sometimes when I get crushes on guys I like them but also want to be like them (physically and socially). Do you ever feel like this? *Clothes don't mean anything either, you could wear girl's clothes and still be a guy *You don't have to have physical dysphoria (discomfort with your body including genitals, I think that's what you mean by bits but correct me if I'm wrong) to be trans but would you like to be called a female name, female pronouns? *Going to the gym and lifting weights doesn't indicate gender *Do you feel like both male and female, simultaneously or moving between them? You can also try experimenting with pronouns and names if you like and see how it feels. Also, maybe doing some research on gender identities including non-binary ones might help if you're still unsure. You'll work it out eventually Good luck!
It's worth noting that not all trans people feel the need to medically or surgically transition. My wife is a non-op transwoman (which means that she's keeping her "bits"). You can be trans and not have any interest in changing your physical body. However, you can also be interested in female clothes and affectations and not be trans. You might just want to have a little fun cross-dressing. I'm a woman, but I love dressing in drag, because it's fun, and sometimes it feels good to totally change yourself for awhile. Try out drag. See if you like it.
Thanks for all your replies. I can't imagine having a female name or using female pronouns. However, I have thought about drag but not entirely sure how I would go about doing it. Sometimes I feel male, sometimes I think I feel female, but I'm not really sure.
If you "Sometimes I feel male, sometimes I think I feel female,", there's the possibility of being genderfluid. Might want to look that up.
I always thought I was a lesbian. Maybe you should try cross dressing. Or try on girly make up. Hope this helps.
