I have always been confused ever since elementary school I didn't feel comfortable in my skin I didn't have any friends until middle school (where I am now in my last year of) and have been and still am utterly terrified of any large public place like a museum or even target. I never understood why I felt like this I just assumed it was because my parents had serious mental health issues and I was just depressed because they were never really in my life for a long time (they divorced when I was around 3ish) but being depressed is not the same as feeling terrified of the way others look at you and cringing when people use male pronouns to describe you being depressed is caused by all that. Recently I have told a couple of my friends and they have been super cool about it but people knowing doesn't do anything I don't know where to start and it's just so overwhelming, I just want it all to stop and I have been suicidal again for the first time this year. -In the words that I have said since I was 5 years old "I wish I was never born" what I was really saying was "I wish I was born looking the way I feel, and I don't know how to change on the outside" :help:
i am really new to all of this so i don't know what advice to give you just to stay strong and love yourself. i hope you will be ok.